Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Pantie thief
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML
Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
Skidmarks
Today, while doing my boyfriend's laundry, I noticed that every single pair of his boxers had a poop smear in them. He's almost 30. FML
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
The next pair will be twenty-ate!
chirstinap325 23
Maybe you should put your underwear somewhere else...
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Comments (63)
Suaria 38
Have you thought of putting your underwear elsewhere?
anarchy_dropzz 11
YDI for leaving them where he can get to them.
MandySkittles 18
You think you'd learn to keep them out of reach after the first couple.. Eating cloth items like that can be extremely dangerous, if they cause a blockage in the intestines it could kill your dog. Stop being careless.
Lalala579121 28
I'm impressed you kept count.
IorvethTheXolo 8
I consider you and your dog extremely lucky because you have escaped each time without a blockage. I really, REALLY want to make sure you know that this could kill your dog and I don't want that to happen to either one of you. I'm sure that, despite the trouble he causes with this habit, you do indeed love him and would be devastated to lose him. In my opinion, yes, training and REALLY keeping on top of him around underwear is a must, but dogs are dogs and they are not perfect. My dogs are extremely well behaved. They don't dig, bark without reason, eat things they shouldn't, chew, etc. and it is my training that has made them that way, but they are living things and my youngest does have a special place in his heart for the kitchen garbage. Because of this, instead of solely relying on training and trust, we just keep the garbage can under the sink with the cabinet secured with a mini bungee cord. He will be 4 years old this week and we have not had a single incident with the garbage since he was 6 months old. We could probably leave it out because I have put a lot of effort in teaching him to leave it alone, but because there are things in the garbage that could kill him, we just don't take the risk. My point is that there are some things that just aren't worth risking and the underwear eating is one of them because it is a potentially fatal issue. The easiest solution for both of you is to get a hamper that your dog cannot get into. I am sorry for the long winded post. I would just hate for this to take your furry friend from you before his time.
thenaff 4
Sounds like this isn't a "brief" issue. Seriously though, I'd have sorted this out by pair 2 or 3.
SteveDudleyUK 10
Your dog must be a really stupid animal. However, because you just know this could kill your dog and you haven't the sense to outwit your pooch to stop him from doing this I would have to conclude your stupid mut has a higher IQ than you. I would like to be respectful to you but your not showing your dog any respect by letting it eat your underwear. I hope your dog doesn't die by what your allowing it to eat.
ApplePie1994 27
I've always wondered how dogs do this. I've seen x-rays of dogs that have eaten over forty socks, lightbulbs, rubber duckies and other random things ALL INTACT. They are such bizarre, adorable creatures.
dextroz 8
maybe the dog is hinting for some fun time. expand your horizons.
finalyearsofhate 22
Maybe it's time for you to put them where the dog can't get them. Like a hamper with a lid and your dresser. This is just as much your fault for leaving them somewhere accessable.