Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my dog ate my underwear. This is the twenty-seventh pair that he has eaten. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I found out by chance that my rather loose and totally decent yoga pants become completely transparent as soon I bend over and they stretch on my ass. Seriously, who designs these things? Peeping Toms?! FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend owns and wears more thongs than I do. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I found out that my dog is a pro at pooping directly into shoes. FML
Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
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Top comments
jessesgirl14 16
Easy access!
Fruit_Dealer 9
I am willing to market these under the slogan "Crotchless undies, a man's best friend." You get a 35% share. Deal?
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Comments (150)
jessesgirl14 16
Easy access!
Damn_Hippster 11
My God! That's genius! Your dog has a bright future ahead!
brrarm 17
I told my dog somebody would eventually steal his idea of crotchless underwear.... Seems OP, yours have.....:(
Buttsexpirate 9
*Wink, wink* I know what I'm doing tonight... Eating donuts! What did you think I was going to say?
TheRealBruce 12
69 votes;)
Star928 7
Well now your dog can earn you money. Try introducing your dog's fashion designs at Juicy or Forever 21, OP.
friedpwnadge 25
Victoria's Secret already sells them.
izzie321 27
My dog seems to like the style too!
Fruit_Dealer 9
I am willing to market these under the slogan "Crotchless undies, a man's best friend." You get a 35% share. Deal?
m0tl3ycru3 0
Sure here's $5000 *hands over monopoly money
sparkles0103 4
maybe you should consider investing in a washing machine. eww
Gtfo_Troll 0
And how will that fix anything?
copy125 0
Dumb comment from a dumb person.....
Marcella1016 32
4 is pointing out that since the dog only ate the crotches they must've smelled and the dirty panties must've been lying around. Hence, the recommendation to invest in a washer.
geekemo92 0
So every time you take off a pair of underwear, you wash them? I would hate to see your water bill.
ImOlivia 5
So everytime you take of underwear you don't wash them? I'd hate to see your underwear.
geekemo92 0
It's called a laundry hamper. I don't do my laundry every day. Sorry for those picky rich folks that can afford to run a load in the washer for just a pair of underwear. I'm being practical/normal.
flockz 20
i wish i could train my dog to do that. all mine does is eat, sleep, and shit.
Blissfull_Sin 7
Lmao... Mines are architects they try to place windows in my hallway wall
ikickgingers 15
Mines are?
zombicidal 11
^explosive devices
geon_olam 17
That's cuz it's a cat
every1luvsboners 11
Were you wearing them at the time?
EpicPear 0
Yeah because every "dog" loves boners.
rawrriri 8
8, shh. Just stop.
freelove_fml 2
Hey, it's better than every boner loves dogs.
zuzupetalsYO 11
The doggie was probably chewing on the unwashed skids *quiver
FriscoKidz 10
Smart dog
mandadarling 10
haha :) that does suck! my dog does that too.. i have to hide undies and shorts from her!
nabee26 15
Your dog eats your underwear??? Wow!!! Usually dogs eat some pretty gross things so maybe your underwear were super gross and had nasty discharge and he just loves to eat it up!! Gross!!! Proper vaginal cleaning prevents this. My dog has NEVER eaten my underwear. Maybe your dog is trying to tell you something!
deviable 9
My dog preferred the air holes on the sides for breathability.
squerbach 1
Ha my dog does that too!! He's been doing for bout a yr now!!
Savra_fml 17
Mate, you sound like a pirate! You should get a parrot. They do less damage than dogs.
Marcella1016 32
It's been a year and you still haven't figured out not to leave your dirty underwear on the floor?
meliesFML 0
my 7 month dog does it too! @68 it's not that I leave my underwear on the floor .. my dog goes to my laundry room and eats the dirty ones. which btw; she knows how to open doors. so don't be quick to assume OP or 11 is dirty!
nabee26 15
Obviously your dog is telling you something. That your underwear are super gross and he loves that taste! Disgusting. C'mon, get it together girl!
Cashtangoteam 10
Damn that's hot