Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite my warnings and knowing I hate them, my wife got a trashy tattoo of an eye on her ankle, like she’s Count Olaf. How is she going to get a job with that thing? FML
Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML
Today, I learned that ever since I got a tattoo, my mother had edited her will, said I was no longer her daughter, and took me out of it. While my sister got a payout, I basically missed out all because of a small tattoo of a flower on my ankle. I’m a single struggling starving mom. She knew this. FML
Today, is the day I got my first tattoo. It's also the day where my mom screamed at me, gave me the silent treatment, and kicked me out of the house. Apparently I’m not considered her daughter anymore, because my skin is “damaged” now. I don’t have other family anywhere, and I have nowhere to go. FML
Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML
Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. I felt good about it, until I told my mom, who was not happy. She responded by taking me out of her car insurance policy, family plan, and charging me for rent every month since I, "wanna be all grown up now.” FML
Today, I finally figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life. Too bad my tattoos will prevent me from ever getting hired. Guess you were right, Mom. FML
Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
I would kick her out of she's spending her money on tattoos and not saving for a place of her own.
ryguy83 2
Well... The cupcake does sound pretty cool
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Comments (143)
torbey 23
Not happy!!! I wrote and submitted this FML. now I see it on here completely reworded and not under my name??? Would the moderaters do this? Not happy at all.
retrorewind 13
took you this long to figure that out???? kick @ss out and then go get your own tat... " freedom at last"
Torres92 1
I know many, many people with tattoos like that who lead very professional and adult lives. So instead of blaming the tattoos, look closer to home.
Torres92 1
Added an extra 'that' in there. Oops. :)
CAJustise 9
No job? Stop giving her money for full sleeve tattoos if you want her out.
worldclassrager 41
maybe adding random things like that enough will actually become the next biggest little kid show...thinking out of the box might be what is needed for her...
ganjaone 2
Should've had an abortion...
scotty35503 5
Way to be a loving, supportive parent.
isaiaah 6
Instead of complaining about it help her and get her a job. It's called parenting
suzyrobertsxo 7
... why haven't you kicked her out yet?
AKSBGU 2
Thank you for being strong.