Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite my warnings and knowing I hate them, my wife got a trashy tattoo of an eye on her ankle, like she’s Count Olaf. How is she going to get a job with that thing? FML
Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML
Today, I learned that ever since I got a tattoo, my mother had edited her will, said I was no longer her daughter, and took me out of it. While my sister got a payout, I basically missed out all because of a small tattoo of a flower on my ankle. I’m a single struggling starving mom. She knew this. FML
Today, is the day I got my first tattoo. It's also the day where my mom screamed at me, gave me the silent treatment, and kicked me out of the house. Apparently I’m not considered her daughter anymore, because my skin is “damaged” now. I don’t have other family anywhere, and I have nowhere to go. FML
Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML
Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. I felt good about it, until I told my mom, who was not happy. She responded by taking me out of her car insurance policy, family plan, and charging me for rent every month since I, "wanna be all grown up now.” FML
Today, I finally figured out what I want to do for the rest of my life. Too bad my tattoos will prevent me from ever getting hired. Guess you were right, Mom. FML
Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
I would kick her out of she's spending her money on tattoos and not saving for a place of her own.
ryguy83 2
Well... The cupcake does sound pretty cool
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Comments (143)
Mandar1 0
By allowing her to live in your home. You're just enabling her to live the lifestyle. Way to go!
Imbatman2 0
A True "FML". Maybe if she shoots for the stars she can get a job managing a head shop.
sarahsookie 1
She's thirty years old but you let her still live in your home? And where did she get the money for a tattoo if she has no job? It's clear to me the your enabling her by letting stay in your home. Kick her out and tell her to get a grip on Reality!
Urpoppy 21
Throw her lazy stupid ass out and she might just learn to fend for herself. Who's gonna take care of her when you die?
charvisioku 22
What a shit sleeve...
noisebox 1
Sorry to hear that, I have a daughter too and they are from another planet. PS you could always shave off her tatoo
FireFlie07 20
Why are you letting her live with you still??? Kick her out and quit funding her bad habits.
MTZ8590 4
just because she has tattoos, it doesn't mean she can't be a "member of the productive society". I hate people like you, I have a lot of tattoos, and I still am productive myself by going both to school, and working! now, she has the decision of being a "member of the productive society", not because of the tattoo, but because of the ambition she does, or does NOT have!
steve90z 1
Is she hot ?
Kloure 2
Ponies. Be proud.