Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son has failed all his exams, no university will take him, he keeps getting fired from part time jobs for incompetence, and generally makes goldfish look smart in comparison. His mother refuses to admit she should have quit drinking while she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife refuses to admit our 13-year-old son has no chance in hell of getting into college. He never got more than an E or an F on his exams, routinely misspells his own name, can't remember our address and I just watched him spend 10 minutes looking for his lost hat which, by the way, was on his head. FML
Today, my dad had his 45th birthday and got so drunk he couldn't walk. He crawled along, crying, saying that his whole life was a failure because he had "a shitty job, a fat girlfriend, and a dipshit son who's never going to move out." I haven't moved out because I'm 18 and still at high school. FML
Today, I failed to get my driver's licence. My father was the instructor. FML
Today, my son apparently has no interest in having a life. He goes from his tiny one-bed flat to work, then back home again to play with his computer. It’s a good job, so he can afford a life, but he has no friends, never dates or goes anywhere, he even gets his shopping delivered. What can I do? FML
Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
Today, I watched my future son-in-law try and fail to parallel park 8 times before he gave up and started crying. That’s the 4th time he’s cried this weekend. I’m trying so hard to understand why my daughter loves him. He’s an unemployed little crybaby, with a man bun. FML
Today, my 18-year-old son got his first tattoo. I would have loved it, if it wasn't a text on his hand with a glaring spelling mistake in it. FML
Today, my son told me he's had 5 boyfriends and is currently working to improve himself before getting into another relationship. When I was his age, I was still single. My son has more game than I do. FML
Today, I had to chase after my dad through a closing garage door to stop him from driving off fuming and doing something stupid. He recently got betrayed at work and called my mom's friend her boyfriend. I'm 27, living at home, don't want kids, no girlfriend, few, if any, good friends, likely unemployable because of resume gaps and bipolar. FML
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Top comments
49_Donuts 15
How did he pay for a tattoo without a job?
GoogieWithers 25
Well who raised him?
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Comments (3)
49_Donuts 15
How did he pay for a tattoo without a job?
GoogieWithers 25
Well who raised him?
Hangryko 32
That's what you get for a bringing a child without their consent into this shitty world. If they have no hope or ambition, that's on you for knowing better. He likely knows you don't like him, either.
SAgirl 23
Well technically all children are brought into the world without their consent.