Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I recently met, thinking she was really into me. Turns out she isn’t. How did I figure it out? We went clubbing and she hit on my roommate, made out with her best guy friend, and then left with a completely different guy. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I took a girl out on a date. We had dinner, we had good conversation, the vibe was excellent, and everything was great. I took her to a bar I frequent after for a couple of drinks to finish the night. She left with some other dude on his motorcycle. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
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Top comments
lifeis4me 20
At least she showed you her true colors early. Would’ve been more embarrassing had this been done later in front of your friends or family.
RichardPencil 32
Was the song "You're So Vain?" If so, she owes Carly Simon some money for the bet she lost.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
Was the song "You're So Vain?" If so, she owes Carly Simon some money for the bet she lost.
lifeis4me 20
At least she showed you her true colors early. Would’ve been more embarrassing had this been done later in front of your friends or family.
spinspinsugar 12
run. like yesterday. run!
Ambrily 27
Maybe you should consider making it a last date, either.
E2dav 5
And that would be the best time to drop her home & realise she needs AA.
Itsheragain 9
and i would tell her "thar door is for meeeee" and get tf outta there
J15237 25
Well we need the name of the song. I am guessing Ava Max: Sweet but Psycho?