Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML
Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML
Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML
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Top comments
luvppl 6
Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)
WCARlover 35
More like a conversation ender...
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Comments (179)
Lovesglee 3
Thats groddy :P
babyyappld 7
no it's totally normal.......
whiteboy7thst 2
That's big brown, oh and say hi to little Timmy, he mainly consists of taco meat hot dog
YourEvilHero 12
I name mine shit and crap
YacL 15
So either this means that this is the guy who figured out he was the only one among his friends who names his bowel movements, or that said guy is not alone. I can't remember how the FML went exactly, but I remember one relative to this one.
eminemchick 19
does he wave goodbye and tear up as he flushes too? thats what i do);
TenderizeMe 0
Mr. Hanky :)
LiveLaughFML 10
excuse me OP, but do you have a problem with little dicky?
freakinglaugher 10
So.. when did this become something not normal?
SCREAM4meeee 0
wait, who doesn't do this??
sk8rchick97 0
YUM! Jk
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
" Hey, did you see Kenny? He sooooo totally bested Paul. Btw, wanna come meet Shawn?"
Jacobt24 19
I bet one of them is named Eric Crapton.
KiddNYC1O 22
50- You thief.
drawmesunshine 17
Lol, I knew a kid in college that we all called Big Brown.. I will never think of him the same... :/
EvilCupcake8361 9
wasn't there another FML that was talking about how the OP named their bowel movements...maybe it's the same person 0.o
dzhonatan 14
:S
CianaBanana 2
... well that's a crappy roommate. (annnnd let the puns begin)
BADDiam 4
Craptain america
dre_bro11 12
I give mine names starting with 'hurricane'...
luvppl 6
Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)
WCARlover 35
More like a conversation ender...
annasworld 3
sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship :)
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I'd like you to meet my friend, Browny Crapton
Lanceeden 12
Hello Browny Crapton. My name is Arthturd Chunkybits.
peasonearth 8
I call fake. there has been at least 3 fml's about naming 'bowel movements'. just my opinion.
ifailplzinsultme 0
C-C-C-C-Combo breaker!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Just like how much of a twit Obama is
StoryOfTheYear 15
Broken combo is broken :(
leearm104 4
I hate people who always have to respond with some lame-ass, unfunny meme.
StoryOfTheYear 15
You're on the wrong site then buddy
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Surprisingly enough, I haven't seen a "shitty situation" joke yet.
ljbgamer 1
157 well, THATS a shitty situation
omgthatsosuppera 4
Shame on them for naming them haha
Lanceeden 12
Awww. What are their names? :)
mikentrigger 4
I know right, once you name them you're just gonna get attached.
SirWrangler 5
Maybe he is 'special' xD
josebeto1 6
'Special' people are not even close to being as weird as OP's roommate
PopRocks14 0
Maybe 4 is special
SirWrangler 5
Maybe..... Lol
Jdeluxh 12
Wait... So it isn't normal to do that?
SittingInTheSky 6
Maybe you should get a life!!!!!!!!!!!!! you shitty little cockhead!
umithinkyess 0
Lucky u!! This is gonna be a fun year:)
IndiRae 9
umithinknoo
CryMoreFMLs 15
I like your new pic Indi. Im just that creepy, oh yes I am.
IndiRae 9
Oh thanks, pal. I finally got my septum pierced, woo! And I'm not gunna lie, your picture, pretty ******* fantastic.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Thats rather sweet of you to say.... I been think o' postin a pic of my real me but I dunno...
CryMoreFMLs 15
So what ya'll think? Scary eh?
rhysfucker 24
Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, Grumpy....?
eminemchick 19
6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy:(
ShyAnn29 15
Runny
crazy17balls 0
rocky
CryMoreFMLs 15
Bloody.
PrickHead 0
horny...?
twisted54 1
Corny...:)
lovepebbles 1
oh my god my little sister would do that >.
lovepebbles 1
>.< **
itsallgoodintheh 0
Really no one cares about your little sister you 12 year old
Sweej 1
Where's the FML?
Magic1 9
Yeah, I kind of agree with you. It is more on the OP's roommate than the OP himself
020266t 5
Eww
donniehudson 0
And you have a problem with that? Jk Jk :p