Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

Good boy

Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

Bad boy

Today, my family and I are spending the weekend with my in-laws, and their disrespectful, disobedient asshole of a dog. He does whatever he wants, and if I scold him, my mother-in-law in turn scolds me, then tells me how something one of us did is to blame for the dog's behavior. FML

Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML

Starved

Today, I realized my mom tells our dogs she loves them more than she says it to me. FML

Sigma

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

Emotional rollercoaster

Today, my dad all but told me that he ignores me and my advice on purpose, just so he can yell at me for pestering him when I get annoyed, and being ignored really ticks me off. Then my mom, who is the more level-headed one, didn't even scold him for it. This is why I have acute self-esteem issues. FML

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML