Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML
Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
steve247 2
Try circling it with a sharpie?
orgasm_blush 4
Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.
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Comments (362)
iliketurdles 7
That's the problem; 'Being too hard', for him, it seems like he looses any common sense. For her (metaphorically speaking, of course!), she gets extremely impatient.
mojjo21 4
Get a tattoo of an arrow right below your belly button that says insert/lick here Lol ;)
that_band_nerd 22
This should be in a guide book titled "How to make trips to the beach awkward"
airforce987 20
How does this get through the mods and mine don't?!?!? Wtf??
Cinn_fml 23
When you said you've "pointed it out" maybe you weren't obvious enough. If he still doesn't get it after you've explicitly shown him where it is, then he probably won't ever get it. Or he just needs a bit more experience.
tomhofer 14
who moderates these?
michi23 0
Soo y does this make your life terrible?
InvaderZacko 0
Its ok OP hes just used to weiners.
Epsilonyx 15
...why was this chosen...
Boner35 0
Show him again and then again he will get it
newlove_fml 0
Sex isn't the most important thing in the world, and nobody is perfect. Get the **** over yourself.
Maddoctor 10
I don't know if you're a guy or a girl but let me tell you it is VERY frustrating that it's so easy for guys to get off and that a lot of them don't know how/won't put in the time for their girlfriends or wives to get the same satisfaction. I'd say OP is currently in this exact situation and is getting very frustrated over the matter. And I'm sure it doesn't help that half the people on this thread think she's some sort of immature bitch because she's not as sexually satisfied as she wants to be. No, relationships are not all about sex, but you would think that's it's an important part of any long withstanding relationship.
limblessorphan 4
Oh... so you can't find it either...
ReynshineCutting 10
Some women, no matter what, can only get themselves off and it's not always the guys fault. I'm sure it can be frustrating (I'm lucky and get off at least twice every time my fiancé and I make love) but I agree that sex is only a minor part of a relationship. And besides, it's more about the connection than getting off. If you're only doing it to get off there's a LOT missing in your relationship. Yes there are times when you're both just horny, but the majority of the time it's for the intimacy.