Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cuz803 46
He's gotta learn somehow. Be his teacher. Be kind and patient.
spinningrecords 14
At least he found it
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (11)
JackWood 21
Does he still have his virginity? Inquiring minds want to know?
cuz803 46
He's gotta learn somehow. Be his teacher. Be kind and patient.
spinningrecords 14
At least he found it
randybryant799 21
I'm speechless. Unless he's like 12 how could he possibly be that ignorant on female anotomy.
bobsanction 18
Poor sex education likely.
RichardPencil 32
Yeah, what the hell is that thing?
Marcella1016 32
Man so many guys look for it but this guy found it without even knowing what it was.
Marcella1016 32
Did he think there was just a hole down there? Like a shower drain? And he was ready to basically give you a front rimjob? Damn our education system sucks lol
Miss_Red 18
Oh, give this dude a break. Especially if he's having sexual activity for the first time. I agree with another comment, be patient and kind. if you have had sexual experience before he did, you may have to teach him a few things and I mean that sincerely. They say communication is key and thats no joke. Be completely upfront and honest with each other about what you both like. Take it slow and experiment a lot with what feels good. Be safe and good luck. xx
kevinwm0 15
You chose to have sex with a virgin, it's his first time - you get to help educate him. It's not a problem, it's a feature!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Um... are you sure he's old enough to be having sex if he doesn't know the basics of female anatomy?
Schm17ty 1
Men should have to fill out a diagram before we let them touch us, I swear.