Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML
Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
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Top comments
CryMoreFMLs 15
Fun Sized: Not so fun for everybody. Warning: Funsized might be too small to handle.
every1luvsboners 11
It was tucked into his shoe. It's an old trick so that it doesn't fall out of his pants leg and drag on the ground.
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Comments (155)
CryMoreFMLs 15
Fun Sized: Not so fun for everybody. Warning: Funsized might be too small to handle.
tpreston 0
Funsized is no fun, kingsized is fun!!!
ThreeSheetsGone 12
He won't be sending OP to the Milky Way with that Baby Ruth any time soon. *Snickers*
melchibr_fml 0
Who says this has anything to do with size? Maybe we should blame this on OP because she might not actually know where the package is located.
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Size deosn't matter :) *wisper* Thats what people with small DING-DONGs say. LOL
flockz 20
size matters. does that mean i have a big ding dong? personally i like twinkies more.
kyarush 10
LOL...
christyxbee 15
How does anyone not know where a penis is located? Iol!! Poor girl.
gojira666 7
Hes a grower not a shower!
Damn_Hippster 11
OP, try to add water!
every1luvspuns 0
sounds like a small issue. or should i say.. small TISSUE ;)
elephantom12 9
74 - that joke was udder shit.
flockz 20
thats utterly disgusting.... the mere thought of an udder spewing shit petrifies me.... *shivers*
tona01 16
The last girl to tried to find the package, laughed and told OP's boyfriend to please take her home (hopefully someone will remember)
tona01 16
* that tried to
ygdrassil 17
20, are you sponsored by Mars?
aftertheriot 0
110- don't worry I see what you ******* did there
ThreeSheetsGone 12
No 114, I am not, and thus missing out on 100 Grand to spend on a Bit O Honey to slide my Butterfinger into.
clairejen 3
BAHAHAHAA I LOVE YOU 30
thorscope 0
Either op is a dumbass or their boyfriend is huge!!!
burkek2 0
One inch wonder?
43trauts 14
#20 is win
deadrising084 1
30-It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean! xD bill engvall quote
CryMoreFMLs 15
Most thumbs up comment for me! Even more then a comment which had the words "cum on" in it...
a_nutritionist 10
...doesnt this happen to every couple at some stage? its placed awkwardly so you dont notice it, especially when wearing layers or having bulky clothes. usually its fallen between your legs or is along the ridge of your abdominal muscles lining your pelvis. bring on the pointless comments about my size now children.
Gvil_Eenius 0
Is that what you keep getting told.... Noob
ck11_fml 1
"Hon... why are you rubbing my elbow?"
Franklin24 3
Or he doesn't have one but you never know
daemonsparta 16
if size matters that just proves how loose you are.
PandaMan26 11
More like f his life!
imcutefml 0
That depends on how much of a difference there is between aroused and unaroused
False_Stupidity 42
Very true, for some guys there's a very big difference between the shrunk size and erect size.
tylersign 11
Maybe he just got back from swimming!
flockz 20
and then drying off in a freezer.
imcutefml 0
Like for me there is a very big difference... So this isnt that much of an FML/FHL
r6_fml 4
#62 is a boner guru
MareNostrum 0
Bonner...?
tweetbaby14 18
Why f his life? She's the one who didn't try HARD enough.
jefffluffingham 5
youre going to the special part of hell for people who make dick jokes. we should get a beer when we're there. not really an FML or YDI. just because its small when its not hard... and maybe you couldnt find it for some other reason.
tweetbaby14 18
Meh, what's wrong with hell? It's hot all year round.
nightwolf1997 6
Agreed man, poor guy
KatieIsAHippie 0
Hmmm..... That's weird.
Tennispro349 2
Maybe you're the wierd one
TwitchingNebula 17
Stupid hippies...
Wheredidgrungego 12
You're lucky it's just a small problem.
BALLAkid101 3
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
CryMoreFMLs 15
109 - Way to bring up one of my fav FMLs. What about it?
Luunatic 13
lol
UltimateGIRness 16
Wtfreak
every1luvsboners 11
It was tucked into his shoe. It's an old trick so that it doesn't fall out of his pants leg and drag on the ground.
LadiiFresH 0
lmao
flockz 20
thank you boners!! now everyone will know why i walk around with clown shoes on. and they thought it was because i had a choice...
hail_this_villai 0
Is it normal I immediately wondered what different terrain would feel like across my penis as I was skipping pronouncedly? Especially a moon bounce...
CaptainPickles72 18
Forget tucking it into your shoe. Use that thing as a scarf, that's what I do! Though don't wrap it around your neck to tight or when you get a hard-on the anaconda will strangle you.
flockz 20
or the nifty belt trick. just wrap it through the belt holes of your pants. just be careful though, if you get a hard on, immediately remove it or you may or may not pass out from lack of circulation.
Bravo11 14
I haven't seen a Boners comment in forever. Almost missed this one. Nice default though.
zachherbert 10
I use the new "To Long of a Dick Trick". I pull it up my shirt, out my sleeve, and use it as a walking stick.
Fmls4life 6
That's the Boners we know and love keep it up:)
crabbyabby718 0
I've heard he uses it as a 3rd leg sometimes
ollie179 21
Don't rub too hard. You might get your finger stuck in his pussy.
screamingxpanda 5
Sorry to OP, but your comment was just too funny!!
Fx13mz 7
#7 wins comment of the day.
j_ortiz27 7
Best comment!!!
amandamichele 0
Hahaha best comment ever! (:
CryMoreFMLs 15
I don't really see too much of a problem about that,... But that might just be because I'm a male.... and find lesbos attrative...
polocity 0
That's not nice
tweetbaby14 18
Welcome to the wonderful world of FML.
IamMe95 5
If you want nice, watch some Disney. If you want life, go to FML :)
shanie123 10
Lmao I say fhl
matt120784 0
That's what I was thinking. Too bad there isn't an option for that.
SirBedevere 0
Maybe you just have enormous hands and you've lost your sense of touch.
XAnNiHiLaTiOn 6
Or maybe he's got a tiny dick..
ally_85 1
yeah tiny penis...sad :/ don't worry tho there's someone for everyone...somewhere....
zingline89 18
Finding Nemo
Wheredidgrungego 12
And his "lucky fin"
somewizdom 15
Maybe he was sitting on it cuz it's so big.
instnt1nfction 17
Yeah, just sit on your balls Chics dig that
kurbanfan 6
Wow that's clever