Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML
Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
steve247 2
Try circling it with a sharpie?
orgasm_blush 4
Hmmm. How old are you guys I feel like that might play a big part in this.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (362)
Angelrose2004 17
Why waste your breath tryin to explain it? If he can't find it, then he don't need to be havin sex in the first place.
suitgirl5 5
This sounds like 2 pre teens who are clueless. I agree with the above, try a sharpie and draw an "x".
lionlvr 9
Crap I accidentally thumbs upped this....
GraveRobber14 13
It's ok I thumbed it down for ya :D
GwarKitty 5
Me too.
s3xymoma 1
Me 4
hippy_child 0
Why thumbs down? If the kids don't know where the parts are it's pretty obvious they don't need to be experimenting.. Does he at least know how to use a condom?
BumbleRoo 0
Agree
suitgirl5 5
I fail to understand the thumbs down, "x" marks the spot could evolve into sexy pirates. "she's gonna blowwwwwww!!"
absolutegrrr 7
187 just give up and go home
PyroParrish 0
I'll give me a shot I'll show him where it's at after were through
CryMoreFMLs 15
Get a life #16. you just look ******* pathetic.
NomOnShroomz 14
If you want something done right you have to do it yourself.
ShyAnn29 15
Like take his hand, and show him :D
NomOnShroomz 14
No. Like take your finger and do it yourself.
ShyAnn29 15
Yeah, that too!
Lizardbits 0
Ummm, this post makes you sound about 14... So I'm gonna go with a previous commenter and say if he cant find it you shouldn't be having sex.
dreemzzz80 0
lmao! yesss i hate that shit...its like they are in the vicinity but just can seem to get it exact haha
every1luvsboners 11
Just point to your arse-hole and get a couple rim-jobs out of the deal.
suitgirl5 5
An excellent idea good sir!
codystone2 0
You my good sir are Canadian
lionlvr 9
Ahem..awkward.
davymac718 4
Maybe you should forget where his penis is located
lolfood 24
Up his ass?
HumanWiki 8
It is not that hard to find....