Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
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Top comments
fluropanda 0
YDI. I think this more of a FHL, for having to be your boyfriend, and suffering through humilation while his girlfriend puked everywhere and pissed herself.
24788 7
Don't drink if you can't handle it around other people. It's a pretty easy solution.
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Comments (56)
perdix 31
You must have been way past "too drunk" if you somehow managed to pee in MY pants. I'm about 2000 miles away, but I'll send you the bill from the cleaners.
perdix 31
No, I'm being absurd making fun of the bad writing.
Lia_Mackenzie 4
*Approval*
mk58 31
Hey, she peed in my pants too!!
sweetbiotch88 0
uhmm.. cool fml ? How is it one again?
tamalama 0
your boyfriend knows you well.
jollyjam1 2
Drug use is never pretty. Perhaps you should consider getting some help.
DynamicDave 11
Lmao perdix ftw! @OP: YDI. Don't ingest poison and these things won't happen
bombtastic 10
ick. have some respect.
shockcrow 0
f his life
Vitamin_C 0
you're so gross..
TryToBeKind 0
WARNING: If you cannot control your drinking (as in, cannot decide when to quit once you've started, cannot NOT drink when you have started), then you shouldn't drink. If you aren't already the binge-drinking alcoholic, you're well on your way to alcoholism. Can you handle not drinking at all? I would definitely tell him you are not drinking at all. Good luck to you and I hope he understands that.
psychoxxxinvader 3
If you can't handle alcohol, DON'T ******* DRINK IT.