lillymean
United Kingdom
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
vetapplez
United States
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
gp28
United States
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
drunkboysgf
Canada
Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML
turnmyphoneoff
The Phone Call
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Anonymous
Crown Point, United States
The call of the wild
Today, I went camping with my boyfriend. We were sleeping on a small slope. He got so drunk he peed in his sleep. I was downhill. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Anonymous
Manly men fighting
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
Domo731
Johnson City, United States
Kinky.
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Thanks, I guess…
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
j……
United States
I need one
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Top comments
Happybooger 4
If you shake it more than 3 times you are just playing with it
ninjuh_wingman 29
Well at least you can hope that it goes up from here.
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Comments (147)
ninjuh_wingman 29
Well at least you can hope that it goes up from here.
ThisIsMyReign 4
Haha, hey babe I gotta pee. My dick ain't going to shake itself.
gamercanadian 11
I wouldn't say it's a low for a relationship, he's just trust u n stuff I guess
RaggleFrock 13
What a catch.
GoW_Chick 15
I think we have ourselves a case of the "I'm going to thumb down everything," all three of the FML stories everything on it has been thumbed down, weird no?
Chad_the_Brony 0
My exact thoughts. What the **** is with these dickheads thumbing down everything? I understand for those who deserve to be thumbed down, but whoever is doing it needs to **** off.
rooh123 5
Here comes the sex jokes...
hellbilly205 17
I wish my girlfriend would do this for me...
CaptainCola 7
You must have been really pissed off after this..
HUGHGRECTION69_fml 2
I hope you are talking about the relationship, not his penis.
Jakesterk96 8
"This is easy right? OMG, IT'S EVERYWHERE!"
xcarxcrashx 9
I love when people get all sad for getting thumbed down. As if that's the worst thing that can happen to you.
nj24_fml 0
F
Toasty283 8
"Aim straight"
nitinsharma 4
A couple that pees together.....?
RaggleFrock 13
...Runs away from bees together.
DrMime 10
Damn! Peeing together? My father always told me never to get on one knee for a girl who wouldn't get on two for me, although in this case I guess the circumstances are a bit different!
RaggleFrock 13
Oh come on, Eats cheese together. Watches John Cleese together. Catches flees together.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Sleep together.
boofgall 16
27- fleas*
Happybooger 4
If you shake it more than 3 times you are just playing with it
xXxIracebethxXx 14
The Hot Chick?
ThisIsMyReign 4
No the un-written man law. And, it's if you shake it more the twice. You,re playing with it.
ThisIsMyReign 4
You're*
btstig 11
And she would be the one shaking it. So don't give her a limit to the number of shakes.
Pentium_4 27
i'm sure he appreciated it ;) he's a lucky guy
maryam8869 7
she loves him ..
cBlackout 13
Well next time you do something stupid while drunk he can pay you back :)
ShatteredRubiks 16
Sounds romantic.
glittercookies 12
Personally I agree with you. I love when couples cross limits to help each other. That level of comfort is romantic. Maybe I'm weird though.
newlove_fml 0
Helping a drunk man, regardless of who he is, is in no way romantic. It's gross. There's a difference between being comfortable with each other and just plain nasty.
newlove_fml 0
Oops. Typo. I meant helping a drunk man go pee.
ShatteredRubiks 16
Because I wasn't being sarcastic at all...
umm_Talk 9
Memories that last a lifetime!
McMan 23
Well if he's that drunk I'm not even sure if he'll even remember it by tomorrow.
Michael_92 20
Ah memories that last a lifetime but shouldn't!! If he can't even piss seriously!? I would let him piss on himself then walk away.
DrMime 10
Awe how cute! When you're both old and senile you won't get to do that anymore, so cherish it while you can!
Epikouros 32
On the contrary, when he's old and senile, she'll get to help him pee all the time.
jerseyboy732 16
Look at the bright side... at least he didn't have an erection
Yak99 0
Im pretty sure if a girl was shaking my happy stick it will be extra happy
fmessiah 19
Well I guess now you know it isn't as easy as it looks to aim, but why didn't you just help him to sit on the toilet instead of holding it for him?
Hammer01 8
Sitting is always easier.....
satans_babe13 0
Who says she held it?
fmessiah 19
She said help him pee, not help him into the toilet, which would suggest she helped him with the actual act of urinating.