Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
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Top comments
fluropanda 0
YDI. I think this more of a FHL, for having to be your boyfriend, and suffering through humilation while his girlfriend puked everywhere and pissed herself.
24788 7
Don't drink if you can't handle it around other people. It's a pretty easy solution.
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Comments (56)
ArtistsSunshine2 0
YDI..I agree with Psycho...DONT DRINK IT IF YOU CANT HANDLE IT..Sorry to be so blunt but its true..
uxoriouswidow 0
Did you not feel yourself getting too tipsy and think... Hmm I shouldn't probably lay off before I get wasted like I (apparently) usually do? Controlling your intake is easy, which makes it all the more frustrating when people don't do it and then complain afterwards.
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, don't drink if you can't handle alcohol or learn your limit. Hope he broke up with you after the party.
suesblues 0
F your boyfriend's life for having a girlfriend who can't control herself and doesn't care enough about him to even try. I hope he dumps your selfish, stupid, trashy, drunken ass.
turdburgers 0
Surely if he saw you getting too trashed he would have cut you off.
Lia_Mackenzie 4
You are disgusting. It's people like you who make me want to study substance abuse so I can figure out what the hell you're thinking when you voluntarily damage your body like that. Your boyfriend should dump you, you should stop drinking, and you should never EVER reproduce. Plzkthx.
israelnotjacob 20
So basically this is "FML because I'm a total idiot." Your boyfriend should dump you because not only do you clearly have no respect for him when he asked you not to overdo it, but the fact that he told you that shows you've done this on at least a few other occasions, because he knew you would be an idiot if he didn't ask you not to be.
EveryDayJackAss 0
drunk people do the darnest things!
Jimboom 12
YDI for not knowing your limits. Or for ignoring it. You know it never ends well and if you don't then you shouldn't be drinking little girl. I hope you boyfriend made you clean it up! YDI YDI YDI!
jayemdoubleyou 1
I think your boyfriend should be posting the FML. He is the one who has to deal with a drunk.