Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
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Top comments
fluropanda 0
YDI. I think this more of a FHL, for having to be your boyfriend, and suffering through humilation while his girlfriend puked everywhere and pissed herself.
24788 7
Don't drink if you can't handle it around other people. It's a pretty easy solution.
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Comments (56)
jennay8288 1
ydi, but the first time i drank this happened...awful..
CarolinaDrama 0
YDI for being a idiot. I understand you'r boyfriend.
fiicere 5
Drunk FMLs should be auto-rejected from this site. I'm definitely not one to whine about drinking alcohol, and I don't even care if you get drunk. But when you do decide to go past your limit, whining online about the stupid stuff you do is retarded. Grow up, get a pair, and either hold your liquor or don't whine about not being able to.
harlehatschi 0
/agree. "today, something happened that i chose not to prevent. FML"
Titantier1 0
Nothing wrong with getting drunk and puking or peeing ur pants, but when AND is thrown in between... dumbass
bugmenotmofo 34
were your clothes yellow or seethrough...
inevality 12
Today, I had a Christmas party for all my friends, and invited my girlfriend to come. I politely asked her not to get "too drunk", or go over her limit. She ended up puking on the floor, and pissing herself. Simultaneously. FML
cierra9c 1
since people didn't get the fml i'll break it down: when she said"fits his definition" it means he was the one that got that drunk, not her.
cryssycakesx3 23
you really can't be that stupid...
yankfan89 27
YDI for not learning self control. If I were your boyfriend I would dump you, nobody wants to clean up after a girl who smells like piss and puke.
Amethyst99 2
leave him now before u do somethin stupid while ur drunk and he leaves u, or worse still, he stays and u spend the rest of ur lives in the doghouse. trust me.
mojo5678 5
You're an embarrassment