Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML
Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML
Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML
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Top comments
yeongji 31
I do not drink at all so when things start to get out of hand (believe me, a restaurant once told us they have never sold so much alcohol in a day until we held our party there and lets just say there was vomit everywhere along with a broken table), I take off. This might make me sound like a bad person, but it does not since management hands out taxi chits to those who are incapable of driving home themselves.
54754N4 14
Been there =/ You should start looking for better company. And I don't mean non-drinkers, just obviously not the binge drinking ones that can't seem to hold their liquor.
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Comments (20)
54754N4 14
Been there =/ You should start looking for better company. And I don't mean non-drinkers, just obviously not the binge drinking ones that can't seem to hold their liquor.
dabaerju 23
I wonder how you're supposed to know that. Is it something that you ask in interviews? "Do your employees go binge drinking? The ones that can't seem to hold their liquor?"
Scotth901 22
**** their lives because of the hangovers they will have ;)
writergirl1029 17
They deserve it for getting that drunk.
emeraldisle 30
So because you're sober you're in charge of babysitting everyone? That's ****** up.
species4872 20
Should have just left everyone there. You and your co-worker are not baby sitters unless you maybe work at a day care place.
wyreleford 2
Exactly, I would have left them and the vomit behind. That is not your job unless your a clean up service.
cootiequeen4444 11
I mean the very least OP could do is steal everyone's car keys. if they're too drunk to call for a cab they're too drunk to drive. And come from experiences of some close friends, it's not fun to find out someone died driving home drunk.. people start crying how they should've taken the keys and the loss of a life is tragic enough... the way it possibly could have been avoided sobers some of the most obnoxious party goers... so yeah... sure... it would be OP'S right to leave... but it's not exactly responsible nor the right thing to do in an ethical stance. not just for the sake of the drunk employees but the innocent sober drivers/pedestrians that could be a casualty.
polsen4273 8
Sounds like a good party, and you helped make it happen. Only fyl if they dint thank you Monday
yerawizardlizzy 27
Really? Cleaning up vomit is enjoyable?
SneakyDeath 15
Not all heroes wear capes. For real, they could have drove home and gotten into a serious, perhaps fatal accident if you did not assist.
maritime1992 5
You act like ubers and taxis don't exist.
FrozenMusic 26
No good deed goes unnoticed (: hopefully something good will happen to you and your other sober coworker
sasquatchius 3
That's what you get for not taking advantage of free alcohol.
maritime1992 5
You're nicer than I am. I would have flipped everyone off and went home. Not my job.
Triangle6757 9
At least you weren't alone.