buddy
United States
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
Rhythm_Man
lolzor
Australia
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
poormom
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Good news
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
ohmy
Canada
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Betchsadface
United States
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML