Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML
Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Witchcraft_fml 5
At least he died with the sugary goodness of a cookie in his mouth.
Mihir 1
Oh that sucks hard...sorry for your creature
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
livebetter 0
don't believe this. fake. not even a hamster is dumb enough to choke like this. my kids gave their hamster loads of food and worse luck it never choked.
Person1233 13
I just noticed something not related to the FML. WHERE THE **** IS PLEXICO? He hasnt commented in days.
posampo 0
I think hes off buying approximately 100 hamsters, cookies, mice and a shitload of milk to test a theory before he comments, you know how well researched he is usually :S lol
BBQPWNDLIFE 0
That is a classic childrens story gone horribly horribly wrong. RIP Hamster.
doggie3 0
I love the way this is layed out. so funny
Widener2012 0
Aw poor hamster :( I must say I do love the childrens book though. Give a moose a muffin was wonderful as well.
ladyvader401 5
I'm sorry to hear about your hamster, OP, but the way you wrote this made it the funniest FML I have. Ever. Seen. So perfect!
JustAReaderOfFml 4
*by accident
dberri05 2
I've noticed that a lot of FML's are coming from the same place in France: Nord-Pas-de-Calais
TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0
that is so sad but funny in a cute way. not the death, what your child did. R.I.P
Yatta_fml 0
Never heard of the book, I don't know why that's such a surprise... It's a little kids book, if parents or the school haven't purchased it the kid probably has never seen it, I wouldn't remember a book from when I was a little kid wheather I read the book or not.