Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML
Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Witchcraft_fml 5
At least he died with the sugary goodness of a cookie in his mouth.
Mihir 1
Oh that sucks hard...sorry for your creature
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
xkayla_gorex 0
hahaha nicely done :)
iluvpandas 0
Pics or it didn't happen
killer122 11
ya know every time i see a fml where the person is from france i immediately ydi it, because you do, because your french
VeeEight 5
Most likely, it a default place that simply goes on the post for guests and people that don't know how to change their origin. and if you haven't read the book you are a vary sad person!
killer122 11
no you dolt it is based on the ip block you are from so when it says from france that because you are using a french internet address oh and **** the french
Professor59 2
And of course, if you think a mouse is talking to you, then maybe you have bigger problems than a dead hamster...
Sokai_fml 0
The mental image was LOLtastic. I'm quite sorry. :/
chabz_fml 0
i laughed my ass off at this. and now i feel reallybad.
audiogasmic 0
hahahah i laughed because i love the book if you give a mouse a cookie teehee. :) but i feel bad for the hamster.
elliekinslurvsya 0
ahahahahahhahahaa i'm still laughing at this xD i know, i'm pathetic... rofl =P
ninja18 0
HAHAHAHAHA that is hilarious .................. just asking but was this ur kids hamster or one at the pet store?
silentmusic 0
lol i still love this book