Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML
Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
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Top comments
Witchcraft_fml 5
At least he died with the sugary goodness of a cookie in his mouth.
Mihir 1
Oh that sucks hard...sorry for your creature
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Comments (172)
TobyLuckhurst 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
ashleykristen_ 0
This should be more along the lines of "Im old enough to have a 6 yr old son but still can't spell moose. FML."
lordmoe 0
where the hell did you get moose? The book is called "If You Give A MOUSE A Cookie"...
alwaysalady 0
THis is why I am afraid to give my son a pet. that, and this horrifying incident: I once worked for a tech support company, and this mom with her 8 year old called, saying the computer was "bleeding" so I had them take off the side, to discover the boy's missing hamster, mangled in the fan. True story. Hamsters traumatize children.
jeniilouise 0
ewwwwwwwwwww poor hamster.
waddlezizmyname 3
I really shouldn't be laughing, but it is such an ironic situation, that it's really impossible not to. How could something so good be used as an unintentional suicide device without the slightest comedic value?? It can not!
luvbird1 0
and the cookie monster strikes again!!!!!!!!
awesomehuman 0
that's so sad!!! :0
musicninja 0
I laughed so hard. Sorry!
XxladyreaperxX 0
................................................................AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jane99 0
RIP HAMMY.
RHOPKINS13 2
And today, we learned that if you give a 6 year old a cookie, he will give it to a hamster.