Today, I got caught sleeping with my now ex’s dad. He stole my weed, then kicked me out. Then his dad found out he had chlamydia, so now all 3 of us do. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend back to my place, but my abusive, homeless dad, who I haven’t spoken to in a year, had broken in to have sex with some woman in my front room, before both passing out on heroin. My girlfriend saw my dad's penis and drug stuff, and left me to clean him up. FML
Today, I found out my mom is sleeping with my boss. My dad doesn’t know yet. FML
Today, I found out my ex was sleeping around with others without a condom. FML
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his dad's ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML
Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
I hear no regrets about cheating. And as it sounds like his dad also sleeps around, I'd say you and his dad deserved it. F his life. Hope he gets good treatment.
poopface82 25
Next step: audition for the Jerry Springer show.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
How come dad didn't tell his kid to **** off? You all sound like very classy people.
poopface82 25
Next step: audition for the Jerry Springer show.
spinningrecords 14
That is quite the paragraph… did grandpa give you Chlamydia? What does your ex’s dad plan to do with all the weed? How does your ex feel about the whole thing (other than now being your ex)?
Thaylok 17
I hear no regrets about cheating. And as it sounds like his dad also sleeps around, I'd say you and his dad deserved it. F his life. Hope he gets good treatment.
CowgirlWithHeart 16
F your exes life, if you hadn't cheated he wouldn't have chlamydia!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well this is screwed up on about a million levels. But there's absolutely no way you don't deserve whatever karma comes your way.
GingerSnaap 4
Feeling like what the heck did I just read? It’s already wrong to cheat (just end the relationship) but you cheated on him with his own father? The both of you deserve it and I hope your ex finds a better life without either of you in it!