ItHurtsLIkeHell
Malaysia
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Roselyn Cazares
Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML
whymommywhy
United States
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
zac545
United States
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
roze198765
United States
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
EpicFail
United States
Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML
Anonymous
Poor little guy
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Anonymous
United States
So…
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
deadhamster
United States
Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
HttpsHaileyy
United States
Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML
Top comments
RedTriceratops 0
But I don't have testicles.
cabbitt 0
I hope you learned to look where you sit.
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Comments (297)
george456 0
Ouch. This must have been the FIRST time it happened to you!
Biohazard41 0
that sucks for you
Horney4her69 0
did u sit on it naked?
ToastyXD 0
... how why the hell would you sit on it??!!
NatashaTheGeek 0
Why the **** would you sit on a hamster?
DGross 8
Exactly... why would you sit on it naked? I can't even think of a silly pun for this FML...
XxBlackamusPrime 5
If u guys weren't retarded, it says "accidentally" sat on it.
sleekRelease 0
Ever heard of an accident, retard?
DGross 8
You're right, accidents do happen... ...still, unless the OP walks around his house naked all the time or just happened to be changing it is an odd situation at best. I can see how the OP might sit on a hamster but doing it naked makes me doubt this FML... though it does make it more funny
sublimaze 6
YDI for trying to teabag a hamster
totes_sucks 0
Why does he have to be naked? A hamster is more than capable of biting through trousers/underwear!
denbeste 3
Another theory well busted.
denbeste 3
Another theory well busted.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
To the people assuming the guy was naked: If he sits on the hamster wearing something light such as boxers or some thin nightwear shorts/pants thing, the hamster will easily bite his balls through the clothes. Do you know why their cages are always made of metal and never wood or plastic? THEY CHEW THROUGH IT. Really sharp teeth. So believe me, if OP was wearing anything but really thick denim, it would probably go through in one bite. Even denim, it might go through.
shiritt 0
i'll bet you did it in the name of science. its good to have people like you in this world. AND its good that you won't be able to get kids now -.- serves you right...
Xuphra 0
Thanks, now we know.
mfmylifesrsly 30
omg that ****** sucks OP!! I once had a hamster bite my finger and man it went deep in me! I hope it didn't bust your ball :(
poooook 0
so you sat...on your hamster...naked ? yeah, that's not fked up or anything ?
sc95060sc 0
learned
george456 0
Who's the ******* bitch who moderated my post? I was first, and I said, "I guess this was the FIRST time it happened to you!"
DonkeyDelight 0
Today, some fat idiot sat on me, so I bit his balls, I got a mouth full of pubes. FML.
george456 0
LOL that's so appropriate given your pic, #165.
pun619 0
Today, I foun out that if you sit on a rattle snake, instead of dieng, it bites you in the crotch!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!FML
Butterfly_Kisses_fml 0
@98, my hamster once chewed off one of the bars of her cage. I came in one morning and the metal bar was lying on the floor of her cage. luckley it was the one right under the lip of the plastic base. but they really can chew through anything. ;)
pedobearsstalker 0
today, I was sleeping on a chair when some @$$hole came and sat on me
trigunesq 0
i think people keep missing the word "accidently" as in, not on purpose
woofis 0
he was trying to give you head
Sniper3000 0
#11 y dont u actually read the post?
daniel1_1 13
lol. **** YOUR BALLS LIVES...... if there's any left in them
Pearljammer001 0
this fml should be for your balls.
up_urs_kid 0
so u were EXPECTING it to die.....
loveyoy22 0
that's what I was thinking...
QueenPersephone 9
You 'accidently sat on a hamster' and it bit your testicles? That sounds like some kind of bs story a guy who walks into an ER with a paper towel roll stuck up his ass would spin. F your hamster's life.
arpeggioss 0
ooo! you mean LEARNED**
Guerilla8 0
hahaha.... "it went deep in me"
1sarcasticmind_fml_fml 0
survival mode, do you blame it? if something more than 50 times your size tries to sit on you are you just going to lay there?
flufffypants 0
why were you naked sitting on your hampster? sick ****
anlhawks 5
they have sharp teeth! I got bit and my finger swelled. op, did your balls swell?
jjpavo 0
121, and knowingbis half the battle
Kcek 0
Aaahahhahahhazz... 1st!
george456 0
sorry, but I beat you to the punch :D
Xrandomkrisx 7
ah nothing is better than accidentally sitting on hamster naked
GeoThermalSleuth 0
This reminds me of my demonic Hamster "Hamtaro" I had when I was 7. I had him for many months. he was very mean and always tried to murder me. One day he bit my sister. He struck a Blood Vien, and she was gushing blood from out of her hand, all over her new shirt and the floor. Good Times, Good Times.
monkye_fml 0
Are you trying to say that Spider-Man 2 was good? I laugh at that idea.
pendulum2012 0
hey, Spider Man 3 makes Spider Man 2 look like Citizen Kane.
michaelscott69 0
guys, he could have put it down on there because he had to go the washroom or something, and forget he put it there and sit on it by accident. its still a fail
ToastyXD 0
woah nice muscles dgross bro
samantha_durano 6
**** hamsters.
DynamicDave 11
At first I read "hammer" instead of "hamster."
patrost 0
HAHAHAHA
pepsie_fml 0
oww sucks for u
RedTriceratops 0
But I don't have testicles.
Einstein714 0
what happened to the terminology "happy sacks?"
S0biTeMe 4
http://www.realhamster.com/
rowanator 0
Balls--that sucks.
Philosophic 0
In Soviet Russia, Testicles bite Hamster.
trainman_NL 0
HAHAHAHAHA..
allard 14
LOL
Fabby_fml 2
WIN.
MXavierT 0
Epic x over 9000
subMortal7331 0
"Shut up spalding!"
LmFaO4realz 0
haha wow y would u do that in the first place??
P1xie 0
cause he's retarded
eaglesfan365 0
example he put learnt which isn't a word
zippit09 0
Think you need to go visit Mr Dictionary.
cabbitt 0
I hope you learned to look where you sit.
EqualisticDan 0
Ahh, ouch indeed. Well atleast you now know that accidentally sitting on hamsters is hazardous to your testicals.
Bizzatch 0
ydi for not paying attention.
CallMeHush 1
So basicly, a hamster just about popped your cherry?
trizzieb 0
did u let that little guy nibble on your asshole?
CallMeHush 1
The gerbil was already there ; )
lilblondie1252 1
No he got a bj from a hamster