Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML
Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
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Top comments
Witchcraft_fml 5
At least he died with the sugary goodness of a cookie in his mouth.
Mihir 1
Oh that sucks hard...sorry for your creature
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Comments (172)
Ipreferbroccoli 0
Either Nord-Pas-de-Calais is a really shitty place to live in, or someone out there is an excellent writer and has discovered the key to great FMLs that will get submitted. If the latter: nicely done sir/lady!
ScaryyMary 14
Just looked it up on Wikipedia... it's a very densely populated area of France, with over 4 million inhabitants. I think it's like how the majority of American FMLs are from California and New York, since those states have the most people.
kellster 2
So... why did you let your son give the hamster a cookie? If he had a cookie because someone gave it to him, why wasn't he eating it somewhere (say, the table) where he could be watched? Or did you tell him he could give it to the hamster? Either way, this is really your fault. A six-year-old can't know any better!
owtom78 0
Sometimes kids just wander off. The parent can not be on the heels of the child every five seconds. It was an honest accident. But to the OP- sorry about your son's hamster- that really does suck :(
xNephilim 19
At the age of six, most people would trust their child not to choke on a cookie and wouldn't watch them anymore.
dalli 0
my comments keep dissapearing =O
sydchik21 0
i dont see why these retarded FML's get posted.
Superawesomestev 0
kids rebound quick. hamsters are cheap. not an fml.
Shyman4ever 0
OMB that's so cool
justmyluck1212 0
Is the mouse Mickey? what other mouse would ask for a glass of milk?
dalli 0
no, its not mickey you silly goose...
hbgoddard 0
Wait... what?? "If you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk." What?! That needs to be explained!! Just... What the ****??
ziqi92 0
It's the main quote from a children's book. Basically, it's about how doing one thing leads to another and then you have a whole chain of events that runs off to who-knows-where and eventually a never-ending cycle. It happens to be one of my childhood favorites. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/If_You_Give_a_Mouse_a_Cookie
basketballbrian 0
hahahaha that shit was really funny
wintermadness1 0
What kind of defective hamster did you get? My little brother's hamster can hold like 4 crackers in its cheeks, and it's not choking to death yet.