Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML
Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML
Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML
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Top comments
Witchcraft_fml 5
At least he died with the sugary goodness of a cookie in his mouth.
Mihir 1
Oh that sucks hard...sorry for your creature
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Comments (172)
Mihir 1
Oh that sucks hard...sorry for your creature
Ajjas013 6
Lol creature? Sorry for your hamster OP.
abbygalee 1
ahahhah creature
_THE_MASTER_ 0
not hard enough, evidently
Les_Paul_Player 0
...can I have the cookie?
fatalkiss 0
lmao for some reason I love this comment
Gunnybear 0
1 are you reffering to the kid?
pooponyuou 0
my friend microwaved her hamster after giving it a bath. she wasn't allowed to use a hair dryer but she could use a microwave!
YtotsDI 0
is it bad I laughed at this fml??? lol
Ron_fml 0
lol I remember I gave my hamster an Oreo and stuff it all in his mouth
thefaded 0
It's a children's book.
00yoda4 0
what's up with you're first comment
Flymeister 3
Aw, that's horrible. What made you think a hampster would just eat it? They naturally shove things in their cheeks to save food for later! Stick to little nuts and chuncks of fruit next time.
fatherpunk 1
My hampster would eat anything.
Ajjas013 6
Guys hamster. Not hampster.
LemonFairy 0
Well the way it's written says the six-year-old gave the hamster the cookie. I'm sure OP is smarter than that, but six-year-olds aren't quite there yet and will copy cute things in childrens books. (On a side note, If You Give a Pig a Pancake is better. :P)
JustAReaderOfFml 4
HAHAHAHA
bekahshae 0
Only if you put bacon on it...
iHatemylife987 0
ahahahaha
BeiberFever 0
mine too!!!
pu13 5
will there be a next time?
sadiesykes 0
awee :(
Incubuss 0
I used to feed my hamster Honey Nut Loop cereal when I was really young. He used to get proper hyper on the sugar. He died about a month after I started feeding him them..
gothicwench 0
You're a moron, why would you kill your pet?
lainzilla 14
Tiny children aren't exactly known for their ability to care for themselves, much less for other animals.
Witchcraft_fml 5
At least he died with the sugary goodness of a cookie in his mouth.
Boxingsweets 0
Seconded. :D
spock9 0
Same hear. That sucks though.
EmmyRahh 5
true..
energyphuck 0
hahaha that sucks but I HAD to laugh hillarious epic fail.
DameGreyWulf 1
Mickey can't talk anymore :c
snocap12 0
i know....it is pretty funny.....i had that book a long time ago...
laughing_zebra 0
That is so sad and so funny at the same time...
HeyMonday_fml 0
omg; lol well kids will be kids and curious.
thespeshulkid 0
11? AW lucky. I want 1 but i have 2 cats. :
dalli 0
i have three cats, its dogs that are a problem (learned that the hard way...)
JFox 8
I have a cat, a dwarf hamster and a mouse. The cat's no problem. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOwhImrUaqM
alyssadapsycho 7
I have a cat, two dogs, two parakeets, and sea monkeys
klimpomppp 9
Please take the path on the left into the large pit and terminate yourself.
alexandriababyy 0
fhl