Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
...........I completely fail to see how this makes your life ******....
KrystleLynn 0
...I don't see why this is an fml or why the teacher called you.
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Comments (116)
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
This is a MLIA entry at best. Also, since it seems the OP did not dispel your son's ravings about being born at sea, I now assume he is Aquaman.
grrrarrrg2 2
YDI for a being a shitty parent and actually letting something cute your child did upset you.
HyperExecuter 0
y would she callu?
bexox 0
There must be something missing from this FML. Aside from the obvious, which has already been mentioned, I dont understand why the OP even had to tell him about a C-section at age 5, and apparently not even explain what it is. Junior probably just wanted to know about the doctors and that he came out of his mommy's tummy, not about natural birth. I imagined this conversation, and it went something like this: "Mommy, how was I born?" "Well, sweetie, mommy had to have a C-section. Can you say 'C-section?" "Sea." "Close enough. The doctors had to cut mommy open to get you out of her tummy." "Why?" "Well, honey-bear, if the doctors didn't cut mommy open your umbilical cord would have stayed wrapped around your throat and you would have choked to death. We wouldn't want that, would we?" Idk, I just don't think he was probably even asking about that...
chrisinator13 5
what the reason for her calling some kids think they came from the store
Icutu7 0
jeez just make yourself a friggin sammich and stop bitching
catastrophicsock 0
Why would you tell your five year old that? He doesn't know about sex, or sexual organs, or c-sections, or anything truthfully to do with birth.
AmeOwl 0
That doesn't mean he couldn't understand it if you explained. A lot of advanced schools begin sex ed in kindergarten (oh, and those schools have the lowest teen pregnancy rates, by the way).
bexox 0
I think it's ok to teach a 5-year old about some of these things, but it obviously shouldn't be on the same level that you would teach a 12-year old child. At that age, really only the basics are needed, i.e. where babies come from. I personally think it's kind of weird to tell a small child about c-sections until they are a bit more mature.
xdncnlaraynx 0
...I just don't understand why you thought that a 5-year old should be told about the concept of a C-section....that's when you say "You came from mommy's tummy" and leave it at that
sportsnut 0
lol, thats awesome but i completely agree with #48
o0ginger0o 7
...What did the teacher say when she called? Not really understanding what's so embarrassing about this. One of my friends had a vaginal birth with her first, but had to get a c-section with her second. When the second one was little, he proudly proclaimed, in front of me and several other people, that he came out of mommy's tummy, but his big sister came out of mommy's butt. Even that wasn't that embarrassing.