Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, while at a family baby shower, my grandfather thought it would be funny to inform me, in front of everyone, that I had gotten fat. I'm 7 months pregnant and the baby shower was for me. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
Today, I told my students that I would be absent tomorrow because my wife was giving birth. They burst into applause... not to congratulate me on the new baby. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML
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Top comments
Shabnam Moghal 14
Regift them to someone who needs it, for example charity.
writergirl1029 17
Ayyy, Bainbridge Island! We live close. But FYL and I’m always afraid of this happening to me.
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Comments (9)
Shabnam Moghal 14
Regift them to someone who needs it, for example charity.
Inkoseh 33
Give to Women's Shelters or local Moms groups! Worst case scenario you sell on FB or just return to any store for store credit.
RichardPencil 32
Make your youngest son wear them to school — outside his clothes. Teach that little son-of-a-bitch a lesson!
writergirl1029 17
Ayyy, Bainbridge Island! We live close. But FYL and I’m always afraid of this happening to me.
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
At least the teacher meant well. She had to be embarrassed by the situation. I’m sorry your child did this but maybe something you said made him think you’re pregnant? Just be calm and patient and find out what your child was thinking.
Venom1999 19
Motivation to lose weight, perhaps?
TheSminty1 17
Guess what the 5 year old is wearing for Halloween