Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
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Top comments
Fiona Ashe 9
Maybe try educating your child instead of sheltering them and expecting they wont find out?
mr_dinzaster 16
Well she ain’t wrong lol
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Comments (7)
mr_dinzaster 16
Well she ain’t wrong lol
acmariner99 25
The snark is strong with this one
Fiona Ashe 9
Maybe try educating your child instead of sheltering them and expecting they wont find out?
Hangryko 32
The two of you should have had this talk with her years ago. I can't imagine she's never had questions about this before she was eight.
blondie45 21
My daughter hadn’t asked by the time she was 11... I finally had “the talk”. She had no idea what it was all about. Lovely to keep children innocent for as long as possible!
skippydoda 32
I feel like she was playing dumb. No way would an eleven year old not know about sex.
Silver Kitsune 5
Good girl lol