Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with Tic Tacs. FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML
Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up, she would take me to get birth control. Wanting birth control, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I'm not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad told me quite bluntly that, while he loved me, he never planned to have me. My mom baby-trapped him by sabotaging their birth control methods, and my existence ruined his life irrevocably and caused the functional alcoholism he has suffered with for 40 years. FML
Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML
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Top comments
naxeeb 33
I don't know why he found the need to tell you that. My condolences OP :(
abcdog123 16
Atleast you know your mom really wanted to have you. Some people are complete accidents in both sides :p
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Comments (100)
naxeeb 33
I don't know why he found the need to tell you that. My condolences OP :(
ShyAnn29 15
Some things should definitely be kept unsaid!
MzZombicidal 36
I agree, #1. OP, I do hope you had/have a loving home despite the recent bad news. Just be glad you're in the world today! :)
GoodLookingGeese 10
It's very common. A lot of people heard this insult during family fight. I wonder how many of us were strictly planned? 20%? 30%??
kyletk 7
"you are the lie that lived!" anyone get the reference. sorry op, hopefully he's happy your here now.
AestheticGuy 21
Wow, your mum lied about birth control. I f***ing hate women like that. If I were the guy I would of said 'Get an abortion' and left. Unacceptable, shes probably ruined that mans life, just for her selfishness.
KevinFlynn 13
wow. how'd that make you feel?
Iamevil123 16
How do you think Sherlock?
assassinbanana0 20
Hmm well considering he posted this on here.... Kind of obvious, don't ya think?
Olympiakos10 15
I didn't know Dr. Phil was on FML
pinguino3669_fml 23
That's the kind of stupid question Katie Couric would ask a person after they were hit by a hurricane.
cjack188 13
You were meant to be OP. Never view yourself as a mistake!
jjessen 20
We could look at thus optimistically or pessimistically: Consider your mothers lie a good omen and that you will have good luck in your future. Or your mother could keep up her lying ways and destroy your credit history forever.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Not with credit karma.com! They'll make sure you know what your credit score is. Even without a credit card number! Haha.
badluckdawson 19
What does this have to do with anything? #39
CallMeMcFeelii 14
A horrible attempt at a joke haha. Note to self, don't comment when hung over.
Ainarr 29
Or ever.
expertsmilee 26
Your life is a lie!
expertsmilee 26
Was meant to be a play on words since his mother lied which in turn gave him life, so his life is technically a lie. Now that I had to explain it though, any humor contained has been lost.
deepunder 17
So what he's done in his life is all lies, or he thought he was some other species? His life was unintended but still existed. Cake is a lie, not his life.
Druu 53
A pity you were born to such a huge asshole.
desoto96 9
Hey just because op was an accident doesn't mean the parents don't love OP now.
abcdog123 16
Atleast you know your mom really wanted to have you. Some people are complete accidents in both sides :p
applebramble 22
My dad told me I was a mistake . i asked him why ? He told me Because the condom broke... ):
jw90 18
Sucks when parents tell you you were an accident.
Mightytall 35
But he wasn't an accident! His mom wanted him so much she lied to her husband ... So while it is a terrible move by the mother towards the dad, the kid is still not an accident. Mom loves him!
QQmore_fml 18
Think of it as you were a surprise, not a mistake... That's what my parents tell me anyhow..
Hurbel684 10
A lot of parents don't realise how hurtful such a message can be. They should never say somehting like that to their kids, joke or not. FYL OP :-/
chinadoll262 1
I'm sorry, what a terrible thing to say to your child.