Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
...........I completely fail to see how this makes your life ******....
KrystleLynn 0
...I don't see why this is an fml or why the teacher called you.
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Comments (116)
shoieb9 14
First
flying_vegan 0
****.
Dabookofnothing 0
FLYING VEGAN WHAT THE F****???
wordgirl 0
What #2 said. :D
neonokku 0
thats funny o:
flying_vegan 0
Yeah, I've decided to pretty much rage at anyone who starts screaming "first". My car was shat upon the other day. I've got a a fair amount of anger brewed up.
GR3453m0nk3y 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you expected your FIVE YEAR OLD to know what a C-section was!?!?!?!? and shoieb9, **** off you worthless piece of shit no one likes you get a life
wordgirl 0
Yeah, right. Like this guy said: don't expect a five-year-old to understand homonyms. :p
shoieb9 14
ahhahahahahhaha... It took me 3 whole months to be there :D more over I moderated it and checked to find it here... so i think i can be there :) have a nice day!
flying_vegan 0
Well #19, congratulations. You could have made a decent first comment, and we might have remembered you as "the guy that didn't draw attention to the fact that he was first, and subsequently isn't a ****", but you just wrote "first", and are therefore doomed to join the other forgotten commenters who wasted valuable commenting space with something already indicated by the little number attached to their posts. So... congratulations.
bexox 0
That's what I thought too. How would a small child know about C-sections? Why is what he said so bad anyway? It's kind of cute, actually. Kids say the darndest things!
lotusflower007 0
look people as a mother of a 5 year old, I can tell you. It's worth it to talk with them, and explain things that are beyond what they know, because that's how we learn. and a five year old can understand what a c section is.
3141592653589793 0
First off, how is that an FML? That's just like a quirky confusion. Second, it's HOMOPHONE. I'd expect more from someone named 'wordgirl.'
claudia19801811 14
The 5yo didn't understand it though
Bitts 0
How is this an FML?
GR3453m0nk3y 4
yea this is a pretty shitty fml it Is unfortunate but its not the end of the world
jts2 3
.. Exactly the point. People need to stop being so bitter on this site.
Luckster 0
...........I completely fail to see how this makes your life ******....
christyxbee 15
Agreed. I just think its cute!
luluca_fml 0
YDI for getting pregnant
carnage1106 0
so you want nobody to have kids so the human population will fail to increase and we will all die?
The_Schiphtur 7
Duhhh
Jimboom 12
You suck at explaining. I hope the kid doesn't come to you to ask about the birds and the bee's. Probably end up trying to have sex with a canary!
ibanez330 2
LOL!!!
KrystleLynn 0
...I don't see why this is an fml or why the teacher called you.
caticaticati 3
How is there ANYTHING negative about this? And why would the teacher call home about that?
Erniesduck123 0
That is the first thing I thought. Why would the teacher call? It's not like he was going around saying he's abused or something, if I were a teacher I would have just assumed he was born on a boat :)
xyourstruly3 0
obv. you didn't explain it correctly . -__-
cityofblues 0
Why would a teacher ring you because the kid said he was born at sea??