Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
...........I completely fail to see how this makes your life ******....
KrystleLynn 0
...I don't see why this is an fml or why the teacher called you.
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Comments (116)
Jesycuh 0
Awh, that's cute. How did you expect the kiddo to know what a C-Section was? Give him some slack, he's only five. :)
bethany_camille 0
that's cute!!! :)
jaybeeeh22 0
why the hell would a teacher take the time to call you about that? did she not want him telling the class about pregnancy and birth or something?
randomreader2315 4
I don't understand why the hell the teacher felt the need to call. There was nothing vulgar about him believing he was born at sea and telling his classmates.
EllisCannon 0
This was a waste of reading time...
bbydoll19 0
perdix no offense but some women cant give birth due to complications durring pregnancy. a requested c-section can be concidered but mostly an obgyn will really push for a vaginal birth. haha no pun intended. :).
MaryPoppins88 14
that's not a fml it's kinda cute
shinshoku13 19
Why would the teacher call about that? And why is this bad?
doglover100 29
I don't get why the teacher needed to call
CaysonJon 11
I absolutely do not undertad why he teacher called you... Tea hers are so nosey >.>