Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
...........I completely fail to see how this makes your life ******....
KrystleLynn 0
...I don't see why this is an fml or why the teacher called you.
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Comments (116)
Anteezy 7
Five years old is kind of young to be seriously explaining how babies are born etc. so you kind of deserve this, you should have told him a very simplified version of roughly where babies come from without using big words like c-section.
lolsan 0
I don't think 'c-section' is a big word really. He obviously understood the word, but was confused by hononyms, so being a 'big word' isn't the problem. If she had told him "caesarean section" then the excuse would have been big words. Five year olds might not know everything, but they aren't 'stupid'.
Flounder 2
I believe that he misunderstood you, but people think it "adds to the story" to say their child's teacher called them. This is obviously bullshit and you people who post crap like this need to stop treating the site like we're retarded. No teacher of young children is going to call to verify every claim they hear unless it involves some kind of abuse or neglect. That is just stupid, and you are stupid for posting it.
blastvortex 4
I'm curious to know how you thought your 5-year-old would understand that, much less explain any of it to him at all. You should've weaseled your way around it and waited until he was older. He's not likely to grasp much of the concept at his age.
Sammara 0
This is actually a cute story. It's not like he was telling people he was born and left to die at sea or anything. You can use this to embarrass him later, like all moms do. Definitely not an FML, and if this is all it takes for you to think your life is F'd, maybe having children was not a good call for you.
a34111 0
this is not an FML. you are a ******* moron.
Darrian 2
WTF? How does being born at sea have any negative connotation and why would his teacher call you about it?
PieterDB 1
It's just a funny mistake. Don't bother.
lolsan 0
I was delivered c-section, because I was dying and going to kill my mother too ._.
Leprecon 3
lol, he wasn't born, he ascended from the sea. That is an awesome way of being born. It makes me think of poseidon.
jonny2x4 0
It would have been worse if you told your kid that you were born after your daddy gave your mom some "magical yogurt". Either way, it sure beats the old story about how the stork dropped you off at your doorstep or down your chimney.
glock17wielder 0
Well, this could be a lot worse. At least he didn't say: "I was squirted out of mommy's ******."