Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
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Top comments
Luckster 0
...........I completely fail to see how this makes your life ******....
KrystleLynn 0
...I don't see why this is an fml or why the teacher called you.
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Comments (116)
teiso_fml 0
Is this really such a big deal? It's actually kind of funny in a cute way. Not really an FML.
alexis_michelle_ 0
this is definitely more of an MLIA rather than an FML. GO MLIA!
SupaSwaggin 0
lol that's funny. not an fml though
telfie 0
Aww, that's kinda cute. Seems like a mundane thing to call you about, though.
nyc718 0
"mundane"?? What are you complaining about OP?? The fact that your kid said something cute or the fact that the teacher is way toooo sensitive?? I for one hate sensitive people.
msfantastic 0
I think the FML is that you told your 5 year old that he was essential cut out of your womb. Why would you tell a 5 year old that? The other FML part being that you actually expected him to know wtf a C-section was. I'm sure that child will wish in the future that he was actually born in the sea.
erincolleen82 0
hahaha... born at sea... When I was a kid, some girls on the playground asked me what PMS was. I interpreted it as Pregnant Men's Syndrome. hahhahaha
xxxenergy 0
How is that an FML? That is so cute! I love young children's ignorance.
AtrumMessor 1
OP, you're a whiner. This is not FML material by any stretch. Seriously, you should hear some of the calls *my* dad used to get about things my uncles had taught their 5-year-old nephew how to say...
zen_fml 0
this should be on IMMD. What is wrong with you?