Today, I had a dream where I was having the best sex of my life. With Donald Trump. My boyfriend hasn't stopped laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been so long since my fiancé and I have had sex I now apparently have dreams about all-night unprotected screwing marathons with George Bush. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Did he give you the small pleasure of a million orgasms?
Fairyjoshy 13
Sorry, I have to side with your boyfriend here. That's pretty damn funny. But I also understand how it could be mortifying. Don't take it too seriously. Dreams are different from being drunk. Being drunk makes you really honest. Dreams on the other hand have no concern for honesty or lies, they're just random thoughts crashing together and your brain interpreting them in funny ways. Sometimes there's a pattern, and sometimes that pattern is just "You happened to see Donald Trump's picture for all of 0.1 seconds and had a little action with your boyfriend the day before."
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Comments (107)
Dave_Davington 34
Did he give you the small pleasure of a million orgasms?
Wizardo 34
Anyone that can't manage this feat is a lightweight and a loser.
PencilTips 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He slept with her like WW3 was tomorrow. Just kidding... bad joke.
gantoman 13
#14 ok.
NickACD 27
Great insight there. Really in depth.
RageWolf16 31
This is an ideal top comment. So witty. So tactful.
silent_shark 10
I'm ******* dying!
gordjess1 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
To be honest I wouldn't stop laughing either. That man is a joke lol
Shadowvoid 33
He is a joke but that dream is something I would have taken to the grave.
derpina72 23
Almost one year later and now he's our president-elect. Hahaha hahahaha ha ha. Ha. h-*cries*
Fairyjoshy 13
Sorry, I have to side with your boyfriend here. That's pretty damn funny. But I also understand how it could be mortifying. Don't take it too seriously. Dreams are different from being drunk. Being drunk makes you really honest. Dreams on the other hand have no concern for honesty or lies, they're just random thoughts crashing together and your brain interpreting them in funny ways. Sometimes there's a pattern, and sometimes that pattern is just "You happened to see Donald Trump's picture for all of 0.1 seconds and had a little action with your boyfriend the day before."
Grayness_ 26
What.......
DoDaJulio 13
@23 What? It's simple enough
Fairyjoshy 13
@23 Are you confused?
tintarroja 31
Dreams are so strange sometimes... I know how you feel. I once dreamt that I had sex with George Bush. FML
Eyeslick 33
I don't know which dream is worse..... OPs or yours...
Death546 25
OP's. They may both be idiots, but at least George Bush was a decent human being.
JKPwnage 27
#68 He let 9/11 happen despite multiple warnings, and then got the country into a pointless war.
PrincessZelda_HR 22
@76 yeah, but... Donald Trump *shudders*
revolvearoundme 15
So did you get the job or were you fired?
Eyeslick 33
Close...she was actually deported.
ThatHorse 15
Ivanka Trump? Is that you?
spacefish966 18
Now THAT I can dream about
Brightblue2 14
Why did you even tell him...?
mswim 27
She probably woke up screaming with a dream like that lol.
toastbrot 9
when your partner isn't overly jealous it's quite usual/ok to tell them about your sex dreams. it can be hot - or in this case just funny.
HeadlessSparrow 20
Making America great again, heh?
BoxFullOfLazy 25
That hair though. What a hunk.
jessreallysucks 19
this is the best thing I've ever read tbh. I'm so sorry that happened though