Today, I was running late for work so instead of walking the ten minutes to the office, I took a taxi. The driver took the opportunity to share the story of his first sexual experience with a man. In great detail. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML
Today, I was late for work and took a taxi. The driver told me he tried to commit suicide recently. I listened to him for 20 minutes, sat outside my workplace with the meter off. He charged me £5.80 and my boss gave me a warning for being late. FML
Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce, and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting another taxi from his place. FML
Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML
Today, it's my first day as an expat. Hoping to arrive early for work, I hailed a cab. The driver took it upon himself to take the scenic route and play tour guide, no matter how much I refused. Not only was I late, he turned violent when I refused to pay his $100 fare plus a "talent fee." FML
Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML
Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Today, I was getting into a Uber after a long day at work. I opened the door, sat down, and started venting to the driver about my horrible day. Five minutes in, I realized I had climbed into a random stranger’s car. He didn’t even tell me; he just let me complain. FML
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Top comments
vaykay_fml 0
that was his way of saying "FU for hiring me for a 2 minute ride you lazy @$$"
mac_fml 0
i wonder if he tells that story to any other stranger, or just thought you were special enough to be the one to heat it.
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Comments (58)
pmole42088 0
ya thats messed up, thats when you get out of the cab and op to be late lol
James64138 26
Dude learn how to spell.
suckerz 0
lmao that's not FYL that's F his ass...
fish1806 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It didn't occur to you to tell him to shut up? Or to get out of the cab? You deserved this one!!!
GreekYogurt 26
There are less Rude suggestions.
millycent 0
How could he possibly be able to tell you his first sexual experience in the little time it took to get to your office, what was it? 10 mins walking, which makes it not even 5mins to drive? I call bullshit.
Paredero 0
You should ask him for photos of these greay history!
RHK_fml 0
Free will states you could say "STFU" or you could GTFO. Kinda your fault broseph.
LittleMissMack 0
Aw that sucks, I'm sorry. But I mean you could have done a variety of things to avoid it. 1) put in an ipod 2) call a friend and ignore him 3) ask him to shut up 4) tell him to shut up 5) get out and walk the rest of the way But, it does still suck. =)
vaykay_fml 0
that was his way of saying "FU for hiring me for a 2 minute ride you lazy @$$"
naza517 0
asshole, she was running late and made the exception that day, it says she usually walks one day ppl will learn to read
Chocolate_Chunk 2
yeah, because calling or winking down a cab, riding, paying and everything surely takes way less than 10 minutes (or 5 if he just ran)
mac_fml 0
i wonder if he tells that story to any other stranger, or just thought you were special enough to be the one to heat it.
wrestler_fml 0
You should have told him that your day was bad enough as it is, with you being late... and that he didn't have to make it worse by telling you gay stories. After you tell him that, then tell him that not only is homosexuality disgusting to you (AND against your religion), but that you haven't told him any "straight" stories of you with women, so you wish he would do the same. Lastly, ask him why gay people whine about being hunted down and oppressed, and then they go out and flaunt their homosexuality to people who have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in hearing it!?! This may seem angry and over-the-top, but it's true.