Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I took my transfer student, who I am hosting for her year of study in America, to the doctor. It turns out that she is pregnant, and my teenage son is the father. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
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Top comments
lilhellian 27
And he thought he was the father how?
B00M3R_S00N3R 11
Why do parents expect the school to do everything for them? It's not their job to teach your child about sex so YDI
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Comments (177)
chuckcloninger 12
So why the hell are you assuming that it is the schools responsibility to explain the "Facts of Life" to him in such a manner that he is able to parse out that if he is a virgin he cannot be the father. My 9 year old knows that much from watching National Geographic wildlife tv shows. I'm thinking that the school did provide some sex education and he's just not smart enough to figure it out. The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.
cf1313 6
Although it sucks he is 19 you should have given him the sex talk earlier...
Metallica36176 16
"...that the school never did..." Ummm honey, that's YOUR job. Schools do a shitty way of teaching it anyway. The only thing I saw was an 18th century diagram of a ****** and a very limp penis and then saw a video of an old man feeling up a teen with his shirt off in a basement and how its wrong and if it happens, tell someone. At least you did sit down and finally talk but FYL and moreover FHL for having a cheating ***** gf.
littlecityof 3
It's YOUR job to teach your child about sex, not his school's. YOU'RE the one who effed up, OP.
just_sayin_81 4
You should have the sex talk with him not the school
musiciangirl591 16
wow, you expected the school to teach your son about something you should talk to him about? i don't do this this much but you deserve it
suitkace 5
I feel like the OP probably misunderstood the situation. I'm thinking that the son isn't really a virgin but was trying to get out of admitting he possibly has and/or transmitted the STD. He just isn't very bright and came up with the only excuse he could think of which happens to be "I'm a virgin".
mantiquillas 2
Hes 19 years old?! You ruined him! Cut the umbilical cord already!.. Shit im goin to hell, oh well bring on the heat bitches!!!
lizegeurts 4
Why would you rely on the school for the sex talk. You should've done it yourself.
FacePalmFail 9
Okay, this kid is my generation - why the hell didn't the internet teach him??!