Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
1 - Yes, yes she did :)
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't pretend like any other generation didn't do their share of questionable things.
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Comments (361)
EmsyyyRose13 24
Well that's an awkward way to find out.
vegeta77 4
OMG, I'd ship her to a convent.
betterdaysahead 14
get a case iron armor for lower half now before you become a gran pappy
caligirllife 11
Okay you need to put some control on your daughter. She shouldn't even know what a daiquiri is and she's only 13 and not a virgin?
monnanon 14
hoe sheltered were you not to know what an alcoholic drink was at 14?
monnanon 14
where did you get that statistic. i doubt she would have just blurted it out if she was raped.
Mightytall 35
Hopefully she meant her zodiac sign ... If not ... FYL
RedPillSucks 33
that's virgo.
EmsyyyRose13 24
which means virgin.
SMurphy501 6
O.O Wow
ErinBaby33 6
She probably doesn't know what being a Virgin even is.
pooperoni 6
I wish the fml staff named 'alan' would stop deleting my responses to him just because he doesn't agree. it's kind of pathetic
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
Is it possible she's just naive and doesn't know what a virgin is? I know that sounds a bit far-fetched but anything is possible with kids.