Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Specially for dad
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Irony failure
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Uptight girl, she's been living in her uptight world…
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
1 - Yes, yes she did :)
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't pretend like any other generation didn't do their share of questionable things.
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Comments (361)
Faiths28 12
The words "your gonna be locked in the basment" shouldve came.out your mouth
booboohoney 12
Hope you has the talk... If not you may want to or you could be grandpa soon
ManInTheMachine 20
Unfortunately I'm not surprised. When I was in middle school there was a girl that had been with half of the guys in my grade (granted, some of it was most likely no more than gossip and rumour, but no doubt a lot of it was true). It's what younger kids are doing now. Shit, Willow Smith just came out with a song about it. The most we can hope for is that they are properly educated about the repercussions and given protection, and are responsible (because maturity isn't going to be great) enough to handle themselves. And, y'know, parents monitoring their children.
samaraperez 7
whats the name of her song
colvindj 22
What the hell is wrong with this generation?..
jamjam12 15
Holy **** I swear if I read another one of these comments...... Teen pregnancy rates are much lower than they used to be
Cazz91 21
I agree. Teen pregnancy has come down a lot in comparison to previous generations. If anything I find our current generation really stupid on other things, especially with common sense. That's just my opinion from what I have seen, heard and experienced in my life so far unfortunately.
RedPillSucks 33
Teens are still having lots of sex. They just aren't getting pregnant as frequently as before, partially because of sex ed and public service campaigns.
TheDrifter 24
With easy access to birth control and contraceptives of all sorts the concept of unwanted teen pregnancies should have all but disappeared. It's just that much more annoying because there are now TV shows glorifying pregnancies involving two unemployed teenagers with terrible judgment and no clue what adult life or parenthood is going to involve.
ashliilynise 11
Chasity belt?
RedPillSucks 33
To beat her with??? just joking!!! *runs and hides*
\ 28
I prefer infibulation :)
tupelo 6
Maybe she confused it with vegan? My friend said I wasn't a virgin when she meant vegan.
HaraAishi 8
I was actually wondering if she meant she has drank before.
majnin 4
I'd just like to make a quick comment. I'm a 14 year old girl and I have never had sex, let alone kiss a boy. I hate to say it but don't blame it on the 'generation' because some of us actually realize that we should be spending this time studying. Hey, I'm not a prude either. I just don't see the point in sex right now.
pooperoni 6
some people your age are going to have sex now, because theyre ready. and they will make time to study. don't judge people, just because theyre not like you.
Bunny21 11
Thank goodness for people like you.
kingbrizo 24
46- its alright, im 16 and ive never even kissed a guy, let alone have sex with one. i totally agree with you tho, i dont see any point in having sex at this age, not at least until ive settled down and actually can care for the kids, if thats what happens.
xxsakuraxx 29
Thats great! I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty one and every time someone found out I was still a virgin they were genuinely impressed.
heyyhowsitgoing 9
#46 I like you!!!
the_torch 6
@#16: Duh! Otherwise he would have known before. @#23: Actually, it is the father's fault. He had the power to say "no, you can't go to that sleep over, because i havn't met the parents" or "No, you're too young to date". It all depends on upbringing, something she obviously lacks. @#40: Observe the lack of exclamation marks in my previous comment, therefore, i am not on my high horse, in which case, there is no horse to dismount from. Also, straight A students lose their virginity at a proper age. Not 13. Straight A students are...well...straight A students...OP's daughter isn't
Dekat121 24
god youre an imbecile. just because you had sex doesnt mean you cant be a top A student....
DrSo 15
There's this neat little thing that allows you to reply to comments... use it!
JonDose 3
I never comment on FML'S but when I read this ridiculous comment, I just had to reply to it. You sir, get my vote for idiot of the week. You honestly think a kid who makes straight A's, isn't capable of making a bad choice? I made very close to straight A's as a child, and I lost my virginity at 12 years old, with a 12 year old girl who DID make straight A's. Your argument is straight retarded all around. Many of my friends who made straight A's, made bad choices in life, drugs, sex at an early age, etc... That has nothing to do with it. Also, you really think it was the dad's fault? Are you out of your mind? I was NEVER allowed to spend the night somewhere that my parents weren't familiar with. The time I lost my virginity wasn't even at a sleepover, it was during the day. A parent's job is to try their hardest to guide a child, communicate well with them, and to set rules the best they can but no matter how hard a parent tries, it is still up to the kid to make the right decision. A parent cannot hover over a child 24 hours a day, it just isn't possible. I get so sick of idiots like you trying to blame parents for a mistake that a kids makes. You either are not a parent yourself, in which case you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about and need to be quiet until you learn a bit more, OR you ARE a parent, but are completely delusional and still have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I am now a 31 year old parent of 2, myself (5 year old boy, and 3 year old girl), and I will do my absolute best to watch over my kids, set rules that I think will protect and educate them, communicate with them and try my hardest to know what is going on with them in their live's but I know that no matter what I do, there is still going to be PLENTY of opportunities for them to make a bad choice if they want to. I hope they always do the right thing but if they don't, I really hope there isn't some f-tard like you around to try and tell me that it was my fault because if there is, I'm going to spit right in their face. You really don't think that there are tons of opportunities in life for a child to make a wrong decision, regardless of how well they were parented? People like you sound like morons when they start in with that "bad parenting" routine. Give me a break, the parents are not to blame every time, they just CAN'T be. Sometimes, yes, a little better parenting could have prevented a child from making a bad decision but just as often or probably MORE often, it has nothing to do with the parenting. A kid is going to do what a kid is going to do and there is nothing you can do about it except try your best to guide them. You cannot control them at all times in their life, it simply is impossible. Kids with bad parents are not the only ones who make bad choices, period. Many children with wonderful parents, have sex too young, try drugs or fall in with the wrong crowd. I can happen to anyone. You may not realize you are on a high horse but believe me, you are riding the hell out of one. Now get off of it and go learn a little something about life.
boo987 0
At the proper age? Well I was a straight A honour student and the proper age for me was 13. What's your reference group? Dickens?
monnanon 14
13 was not thr proper age for you. you are just another kid who thinks they know better than everyone else. we all did it, thinking we were mature people and readt for sex but you should at least br able to control yourself until the age of consent.
horneyhic 15
Boos profile doesn't say there age they could be 30 and had many years to deside they made the right desition
EmElle88 9
I think that there's a good chance she doesn't know what it means. But, I mean, some of the kids these days...
xXNerrrdXx 16
whats wrong with this generation.....
LtBrenton 16
...*bows down* STAFF BURN! :D
pooperoni 6
too bad you cant downvote staff responses. who cares? it's fml, not an essay that's going to be marked
pooperoni 6
I love how my comment is deleted by an fml staff member. really, you cant handle being disagreed with?