Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to "ruin my innocence." FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
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Top comments
Crenny 16
Volcanoes aren't places you wanna be thrown into.
Classy_Sassy_15 15
You should have that talk with her
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Comments (123)
Classy_Sassy_15 15
You should have that talk with her
Ichiya 29
Just throw her in a volcano and save yourself the trouble.
RedPillSucks 33
And have her stop watching Disney
mzcupcakez 20
#72 I think she watched "the house bunny". regardless, I don't think that's a movie meant for 12 year-olds.
Crenny 16
Volcanoes aren't places you wanna be thrown into.
MrConcise 35
How else will I evolve Charmeleon?!
Han1156 23
Pokesnap good times
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Pokemon•
ChopSuey444 20
#81, Pokemon snap (Pokesnap) is a game...
HarshD9619 34
You have a lovely kid.
oJoy 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
oh dear sorry to here that..
BlackStar288 10
Hear**
coming back in the future 30
#4 you could probably say that for every FML.
Ki11erC 18
@40, new competition, find an FML you can't lol
devilsADD 7
@ 40 and 106 Today, I went completely deff. Doc says it's permanent. Fml.
supernerd95 17
who?? how?? when?? did such an idea enter her head?
erikahall21 9
the Aztecs did that to the virgins
wallamanut 14
However there's also a myth on the Internet that if you stay a virgin until you're 30, you become a wizard. she could use that to prevent getting thrown into the volcano.
Chiroptera_Man 10
I remember an episode of Johnny Bravo when he was about to be sacrificed to a volcano by women, since they needed a virgin. He then said, "Whoa, I'm not a virgin!" Childhood :)
alice_18 16
There was an episode of Supernatural where they threw a virgin into a volcano to make her the Mother of All
23lf 16
That's from a video game, actually.
erikahall21 9
#86, Aztecs were here before video games.
BBeffedmylife 28
The movie "The House Bunny" immediately came to mind when I read this FML.
tanman230 10
they did it hundreds of years ago supposedly for good luck or something
thesmeagol 22
Never can go wrong with a good sacrifice.
thes7274473 19
Sacrifice does perfect, doesn't it precious?
False_Stupidity 42
Well, we all must make sacrifices from time to time.
gigistar15 21
You should have talked to her about the appropriate age to do such things. Even if she doesn't follow the suggestions she will be more likely to lose it around that range.
smithv171 17
I think you might want to have a talk with her.
el_angelroca 15
She probably has no idea what she is talking about
Scarylizard1798 23
Thank the American educational system ??
Ichiya 29
More like thank the internet. Not everything bad that happens is because we Americans are stupid.
thes7274473 19
My 5th grade A.G.E. teacher refused to say anything about actual intimacy or intercourse or how sperm gets to the female side. I didn't understand anything about sex besides the parts and stuff until 8th grade. I don't know where this kid got anything about volcano sacrifices, though.
kinky44 28
@66 Does it matter? Did you really need that information in 5th-8th grade?
DropTheDaggerxx 31
@68, Is there an age range in which you deserve to learn about your body? It's the idea that we should keep this information from kids that is really harming them. If they don't learn it from school, they'll learn it from their friends and get wrong information. You teach kids to wear their seatbelt from the earliest age possible, you don't pretend like cars don't exist until they're of legal driving age. Prevention requires knowledge.
Compgeek1996 5
More like if they don't learn it from their parents. Schools have no business going over that stuff because those are the things parents teach when the kid's ready. If the parents don't deal with that by a certain point, anything that happens is their own damn fault. Not quite sure that 12 would be that point though, but I guess the media's decided otherwise.
stargirl_95 24
#85 Why can't school's teach kids about the facts of life? I think the idea that it's the parents job only is silly. Yes, parents should still talk to their kids but some refuse. Secondly, it's been proven that rates of teenage pregnancy and STD transmissions are lower in places where kids have proper sex ed so clearly it's more beneficial than sitting around expecting the parents to tell them. Secondly, a 12 year old is more than ready to have a sex talk. You do realise that they're going through puberty right?
trex454 21
the average age a girl loses her virginity is 13 so yea you should probably be talking to them about it
stargirl_95 24
#102 in what country? Last time I checked the average age girls lose their virginity according to actual statistics is 17