Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went to a cute frog-themed frozen yogurt shop that was surprisingly realistic. So realistic, in fact, that there was a dead fly in my yogurt. I found it with my tongue. FML
Never felt more lonely
Today, I was in my local supermarket's frozen aisle and I started doing a little dance of joy because my favorite ice cream was on sale. I turned around to see my ex and his new girlfriend watching me. FML
Shifting the blame
Today, at work, I gave ice cream to a kid and apple pie to his dad. The kid decided to grab a literal handful of the dad’s pie which was steaming hot. Cue the kid screaming and the dad yelling at me for not telling his kid that the dessert, that WASN'T HIS, was hot and he shouldn’t touch it. FML
Help yourself
Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML
Hey good lookin'
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML
Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML
Good intentions, but…
Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML
Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML
Top comments
qdawg06 23
Clever x10 but also creepy x100
Killz268 18
what a thug haha
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Comments (74)
SookyLala 13
ha mad dude
BadDay98 18
I hope she slapped the shit out of him
AnalAssassin1 14
Piss off.. ?
Driving_Gaming 22
No
theKevmeister 13
What for? that's the name of the flavor. . . go to a bar and u can ask to taste the bartenders' "wet pussy" or u'd like the bars "red-headed ****"
Malecent 13
She could get arrested for that but I doubt it.
Colon_Man 17
The twist is; the yogurt lady is OPs' mom...
Killz268 18
what a thug haha
MdMan2 23
Thug isn't necessarily the right word here…
whitevenom 12
He means Thug Life. Youtube it. Watch the videos and you will understand. That wild fit in perfect
MdMan2 23
I know those videos. He could've said thug life then, not thug.
Noahray98 8
What a thug life haha? yeah, that totally makes sense #57
leaveyourmark98 8
#57 seems like you just want to complain about something
Welshite 40
Daddy got game. Any sane woman would happily accept such brilliant flirtation.
Enslaved 38
Not really. Funny thing is, she probably already heard it a hundred times before from other pervs.
Eliiara 11
I'd definitely feel creeped out if a random stranger started talking to me like that. Regardless of the name of the yogurt.
gracehi 33
Pretty sure Welshite was being sarcastic, guys.
Ichiya 29
Besides "can I taste your juicy cherry?" is the correct way to say it. I mean if you want to taste a flavor to see if you like it how else would you ask? Its not his fault it sounds perverted or that she may see it that way.
quackImapenguin 16
More like no woman ever. That's harassment.
admin_potato 6
You got the wrong idea about ladies
keirookami 11
your sarcasm ^ the commenters
A1NoSauce 17
A play on words isn't harassment.
qdawg06 23
Clever x10 but also creepy x100
RedPillSucks 33
not so clever. it was kind of obvious. what would he have done if the flavor was black cherry and the woman was black? answer: he would have gotten the shut smacked out of him,
Miss_Chevious 37
Did she even have her juicy cherry?
Miss_Mandi 29
He's got balls.
Miss_Chevious 37
But no juicy cherries
Miss_Mandi 29
Agreed. That never would've scored him anyone. But still, never heard of anyone so bold as to make such a ridiculous pick-up line at someone. He does have balls for that. Granted, for the wrong reasons.
Ichiya 29
Maybe it was a legitimate question? If he wanted vanilla but wasn't sure if he liked it he would say "can I taste your vanilla?" So logically it would be the same phrassing for juicy cherry right?
suosi 21
How horrible, he shouldve told her both of u guys wanted her juicy cherry...
SnowxSakura 17
You somehow managed to increase the creepy factor by 100,000
Krypt1c 11
I expected some ****** up comments. This is not one I expected
Eliiara 11
Talk about creepy. :/
SauceySarah 30
Dads will be dads, right?