Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
1 - Yes, yes she did :)
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't pretend like any other generation didn't do their share of questionable things.
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Comments (361)
wonders8 3
Thats really messed up!
4Madden 19
Don't know what's worse. The fact that your daughter is sexual active prematurely or the fact that she is stupid enough to think a drink would have anything to do with her virginity.
buddy51 23
She's not a bright bulb either.
blurvsh 10
I really hope she was just messing with you OP
pooperoni 6
some 13 year olds have sex. I myself had my first sexual experience at age 14, and I was the last girl of everyone I knew to go through puberty. some of my friends lost their virginity at age 13, and had their first sexual experience when they were 11 or 12. it's not surprising. some 13 year olds want to have sex. teach them about safe sex, and the risks of emotional attachment that may go along with it.
saidoh_fml 26
As if emotional attachment is the only risk...
christinatabor 3
I feel sorry for you. )-:
Omniprism 15
It's quite possible that she's confused about what that means. She may have kissed someone and thought that was losing your virginity. Maybe if its not too late you can can the sex talk.
MommaSchmidt 14
hence why I will be moving to the middle of no where until my daughter turns 30
Wowxoxo 17
When you're in the middle of nowhere, you get bored. Recipe for disaster when it comes to country teens
kalbrek009 20
Does she not really know what that means or is it time to have a serious talk & get her the HPV shot & birth control? FYL OP, I feel for you...13 is too young for her to possibly make you a grandpa.
Jojjo_fml 1
I can´t really see the problem, as long as the girl and her partner liked each other and knew how to protect them selfes, what harm could it posibly do to her? I was about the same age as her the first time, and it hasn´t affected me in any bad way at all.