Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
1 - Yes, yes she did :)
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't pretend like any other generation didn't do their share of questionable things.
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Comments (361)
ejayhayse 7
Ouch
brittyboo123 35
Kids these days are trading their virginity for candy.
graceinsheepwear 34
Yeah. Back in the day, nobody got candy. I know I didn't. And I like candy.
AllenRed 15
It's disturbing to know innocent little girls are getting into that kinda stuff... I hope you do your best to keep her away from 'that' now that you know she's done it already.. .-.
SailorMoon921 7
Beat her ass!
kee_breezy32 34
OP needs to do a follow up! (;
saidoh_fml 26
Yikes! And here I was freaking out about the fml a few weeks/months back about the twelve year old daughter trying to queef. This clearly takes the cake.
Brilliant66star 17
YDI. When does a typical 13-year-old find the time/opportunity for sex? Between school, friends & family, sports, social networking and extra-curricular activities your daughter found a way to expose herself to the several risks implicit in teen sex. Where's the supervision? What about guidance and limits? Clearly, as independent as she is, your daughter isn't yet able to provide these things for herself. On the bright side, at least you've still got time to parent her before she's out there voting, driving, wielding arms, drinking and getting tattooed/pierced. You may want to learn whether she's already engaging in some of these underage in addition to the sex and drinking. Good luck; I'm sure you can condense an entire childhood of discernment, ethics, reserve, self-esteem, setting boundaries and all else necessary into the five years left until she has any real legal responsibility for her actions.
TheLegend_SamIAm 7
this floored me. I heard about kids starting early these day s but not THIS early
graceinsheepwear 34
It's been that way since the late 60s st least. Nothing new or different about this era except that sex can kill you now if you don't protect yourself.
FML_Whale 18
When I was 13 all my boyfriends were on club penguin..
treasurejoy16 5
OH NO SHE DIDN'T.... Somebody better PRAY.