çapousse2904
Le Pr?-saint-gervais, France
Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML
Top comments
heyyyjune 11
Holy crap!
crazytwinsmom 25
Miralax works wonders, for the constipation, not the abs.
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Comments (96)
heyyyjune 11
Holy crap!
GodPart2 20
Holy? If anything, the crap may lead to a lot of sin :-)
Cruzg2017 18
No shit
kristabelli 19
Dude, you need to eat some leafy greens. Or better yet some lentils! They're like nature's laxative.
SailorSolaris 43
Plums too. The skin is a natural laxative.
graceface1031 7
Why did #18 get down-voted? I totally get it haha.
Iceberg86300 14
After 3 weeks screw the nature shit! Take some stool softener, drink a ton of water and keep doing so, then go for the exlax if nothing's moved.
Nyx7 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If you like being bigger stay that way, enjoy yourself. If you don't like it, do something about it.hope the constipation goes away soon
SuperCasual 13
Stay constipated so you can feel better about yourself? What the shit?
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
That's not what they're saying. They're saying if he's comfortable with his body the way it is, even if he's bigger, he shouldn't have to change. And they hope his constipation goes away.
Nyx7 24
Dear lord thank you, someone understood
JuliaaNoelle 26
The FML didn't say that he was overweight though. Maybe she thought he was working out to tone himself and gain more muscle. Not necessarily to lose weight.
crazytwinsmom 25
Miralax works wonders, for the constipation, not the abs.
lil_ham1644 29
Miralax doesn't really work for me, it gives me abdominal pain. Try ducalax if that happens to you.
martin8337 36
Or try magnesium citrate. It comes in lemon flavor and it costs around $1. This stuff really works.
LaxGuy26 12
Swallowing cesium works as well. It will really get your bowels moving.
Brandi_Faith 34
Magnesium citrate works wonders.
crazytwinsmom 25
Miralax is gentle but does take longer to kick in, sometimes 3 days. But it's not like opening a floodgate when it does start working.
amisenho 11
Try Sugar-Free Gummy Bears (or any sugar-free candy). Those will do the trick. Artificial sweeteners, when metabolized, can cause gastrointestinal distress, but they at least get rid of your poop.
choco3782 12
Give up the abs for your health dude!
Demoniq 25
If you admit to her, she may not pressure you to keep those abs :P
noah_1234 24
does constipation cause your abs to show?
spatula232 25
*starts not eating anything organic* abs here we come
KnownAsCAJ 11
It's compacted digested material stuck and building up in your intestines, so it makes the stomach feel tough and hard.
abattior 18
Powerful constipation! i'd like some abs too >.< .
RandomMishaps 14
That's a shitty situation. Oh wait...no it isn't.
Queensland 27
Cut the crap, OP. Can you stop pushing out with these horrible stories? They clog up the forum. Just harden up and stop bumming around.
kost4060 14
Ur the kind of person who would do cocaine at a party and try to make everyone else do it
MilkyFilmz 26
I think those were puns.
Queensland 27
Thank you for being the first to realise this #20!
rocker_chick105 31
They were just really overdone
stargirl_95 24
Everyone realised they were puns. You're getting downvoted because they're awful
JMichael 26
I agree with #30, your crap puns were crap.
cryssycakesx3 23
you just pushed those puns out a little too hard...
tayymeds 23
Talk about over kill...
adrian_swag 11
You're a very intelligent person. Lol :) I like you have a nice day
rjsmith 6
Shitload of puns there... just a little bit of an overflow.
TheMarshmellow 14
At least you got a work out from it
blueblu97 16
Drop the deuce and start working out for real, impress her