Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML
Today, my grandma told me that if she was a braver person, she would've actually have split up with grandad on their second date, but she was afraid of being alone so she married him instead and had a bunch of kids she never actually wanted. Wow. FML
Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML
Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to start a fist-fight with my wife during my wedding ceremony. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend of six months over to meet my family. When my grandpa saw her, he said, "What a waste of good breeding stock." FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
Hopefully it was relationship advice on what not to do
UsernameNotRandom 10
She's good at "attracting" people, which I suppose is the advice she can give. But it's "keeping" people around that she clearly cannot do. So ignore anything after "attracting" and it could work. Or for "keeping" them around, do the opposite of her.
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Comments (3)
cuz803 46
Hopefully it was relationship advice on what not to do
RichardPencil 32
She's pretty much an expert on bagging men. You gotta give her that.
UsernameNotRandom 10
She's good at "attracting" people, which I suppose is the advice she can give. But it's "keeping" people around that she clearly cannot do. So ignore anything after "attracting" and it could work. Or for "keeping" them around, do the opposite of her.