Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, I went to a frozen yogurt stand with my dad. One of the flavors was called "Juicy Cherry." I had to stand there and watch in horror as he told the woman running the stand all about how he'd like to taste her juicy cherry. FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML
Today, my daughter asked me to take her to Victoria's Secret so I could buy her some "sexy clothes". She's 9. FML
Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
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Top comments
Sir_ND_Pity 35
1 - Yes, yes she did :)
iLike2Teabag 27
Don't pretend like any other generation didn't do their share of questionable things.
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Comments (361)
emmingle 24
Kids these days.
summerguy97 16
Kid have been having sex at a young age since forever.
purplecowgoesmoo 5
yeah don't blame it on the "kids these days", unless you're referring to the 1900's too.
samabomination 19
Time to get the shot gun out!
fuckmylife518 15
"Young lady, you are a virgin until I say you're not!"
Blondie7347 16
Yeah.. I don't think that's how it works??
reeses_pieces12 7
No use being mad about it now. All you can do is make she values herself, doesn't give in to doing things she doesn't feel comfortable with and teach her about appropriate protection. Also, probably time to consult the lady doctor. I believe their recommendation to visit once one becomes sexually active or reaches age 21 still stands.
stewpididiot 11
Too late ....
reeses_pieces12 7
Too late what? It's never too late to respect yourself. Also *make sure. Full sentences are good. :-p
tjv3 10
#17 that statement right there sums up what is wrong with the world today. OP get mad then buy a freaking chastity belt with a biometric lock or one that is on a rotating cipher
datgamerchick 14
With the way this generation's headed, it seems non-virginal fetuses will become the norm in a couple of years.
samabomination 19
Yeah and instead of the show 16 & pregnant it'll be 12 & pregnant.
hokie16 13
It used to be normal for teenage girls to be married away by 13. And having kids right after that. People like to act like teenage pregnancy is worse than ever, when it's probably better than ever thanks to birth control, legal abortion, and condoms.
jamjam12 15
68 is right, teen pregnancy rates have decreased quite a bit. So obviously our generation isn't as ****** up as everyone thinks it is.
bettyboop428 24
68: Unwanted teen pregnancies and married teen mothers are two completely different situations, especially given the differences in responsibility and maturity from generations past compared to this one.
monnanon 14
why do you assume that any teen who isnt married does not want their pregnancy?
hokie16 13
Being married or unmarried doesn't affect whether you want your kid or not, or your ability to take care of it. I don't think any 13 year old should be having a baby, but I also know that the last thing a stressed out teen mom needs is everyone telling her how dumb and awful she is. That just leads to her not wanting the baby and mistreating it. Any pregnant woman, regardless of age, needs support.
TheDrifter 24
Precisely, it's not the mothers age, but her ability to raise the child and whether she wants it. Almost 2/3 of teen mothers required social assistance in the last decade and only 1 in 4 were married, plus the abortion rate has doubled. The problem isn't teen age, it's poor decision making skills. Young ladies please, find a partner you wish to stay with and a means of financial support for your new family before you choose to start one.
rosenkrieger223 24
48, I'm pretty sure that 18 and 38 were being sarcastic...
windfuelsfire 10
Stupid ****
Alexis2742 31
I agree, your life sucks and you deserved it because if you would have taught her better, it wouldn't have happened but you have a long road ahead of you now.
Angelrose2004 17
Yes, because the only influence on her is what her daddy teaches her. There is no possible way that curiosity, media influence, or peer pressure could've gotten the best of her.
AshleyScruggs 14
20- I know a lot of kids with amazing parents who do their best to teach their kids right from wrong, and some of those kids have done a lot of horrible things, including things that have hurt their families. People choose their own paths. Parents aren't always to blame when their children make bad decisions.
Cazz91 21
Get off your high horse and stop judging OP based on your ignorant thoughts. You can be the worlds best parent while teaching them much better than anyone else could have and still end up with a rotten kid. Its not always the parents fault. I am disgusted at how many people still throw that "its the parents fault" card around without any knowledge or common sense behind certain situations. I understand there are times it really was the parents fault failing to do their job but that is not always the case. If anything this would be a reasonable shock to any good parent that cared and know that they did teach their child better than what they acted out on their own accord behind that parents back.
ultra_notorious 26
one of the most ignorant comment ive read thus far on this site. free will and opportunity, snotty young teen?
Sir_ND_Pity 35
Is that how the system works? I guess I've been doing it right :) the drinking virgin drinks part, not the having sex part >____> Onto the more relevant topic: yeah, this isn't something you want to hear from a 13 year old, especially if you are her father. FYL!
Heat_Leech 7
I find it amazing that THATS the way she decides to break it to you.... Maybe she doesnt even know what virgin means either that or shes stupid enough to think there are special drinks for virgins
Juneyah1017 9
The generation of kids these days are not getting better people
summerguy97 16
They've always been the same. People have been having sex and getting pregnant since humans arrived. It's not just OUR generation. It was yours too, and the one before yours and the one before that.
TheDrifter 24
They're not doing anything new, it's how they're doing it. The concept of consequences and responsibilities seems to have gone missing somewhere between the inventions of birth control and crack and are in danger of being totally forgotten.