Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
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Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
At least she didn't shoot a blue shell of doom at you.
iOceanus 18
Especially when playing Mario Kart. Mario Kart is a serious matter!!
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Comments (268)
pheebs314 17
It was kind of rude of you to say that, but it doesn't really justify what she did in return. It's not like women can't control themselves when they're pmsing. Her reaction is ridiculous.
perdix 31
The worst time to joke about a woman's PMS is when she has PMS. It's kind of like a female version of Fight Club.
BlackRogue 8
"Surprise!!" and we beat the shit outta her. She'll never forget that.
oomph_fml 25
Though you shouldn't have been a douche and made the PMS comment, she's definitely overreacting. Sore losers are really annoying. FYL for having a dramatic girlfriend, OP.
cloudygirl5 16
Lol that sucks
charliegunn 2
I'm sorry, that isn't just PMS. Bitch is crazy and needs to get some anger management, either therapeutically or chemically.
BlowinChronic 18
That was a cold thing to do. It seems like she has a hot temper and you have some serious balls for staying with her. You really put yourself in some hot water with this one OP, but hopefully she will realize what she did and cool down. I think it would be a pretty good idea to stay away from that woman OP.
kitten1323 19
Why is everyone siding with the girlfriend? He made an off-hand comment about her attitude and she over reacts, thus proving his point. If this situation was reversed and the boyfriend over reacted like that to his girlfriend everyone would cry "omg what an asshole! You should dump him!" Thr girlfriend deserves to be dumped if she's immature enough to rage-quit Mario Kart and then behave like a child when her boyfriend points out her attitude.
saksxalmo 20
It WAS kind of a sexist comment to make. If his girlfriend was Asian and he made a comment about her ragequitting because she didn't know how to drive, wouldn't her anger be justified? As for what she did, that was definitely an overreaction. And I agree that it's stupid that there's a double standard about bullying/attacking/hurting (whatever you consider this) men vs. women.
dwc2134 5
Some women do get into foul moods leading up to and during their time of the month, pointing that out is in no way similar to accusing someone of being a shit driver just because they're asian.
doodlecloud 27
Thank you 71! I was shocked by all the comments on here. It wasn't a particularly nice thing to say but it was only the one comment (afawk), it was after a video game when trash talking and gloating are generally more acceptable and people get away with a lot worse. If she was so hurt by his comment she should've spoken to him about it or, if she was too pissed for talking, blanked him for a bit until she calmed down. What she did was completely unjustified.
saksxalmo 20
I don't understand why my comment was thumbed down...? And how are comments supposed to improve if they're just thumbed down randomly...? :/
doodlecloud 27
Well firstly, it's not necessarily sexist. If OP's girl is one of those girls who really does have a hormone freak out when she's pmsing then it's a legitimate question. Secondly, if it was 'kinda sexist' well, it's a bit of trashtalking after Mario Kart, who the hell cares? If ever there was a time for casual non-pc digs with close friends and partners then it's then. Thirdly, I had to read your comment like 10 times before I got what you were on about, though that may be because I wasn't aware that asians being bad drivers was a 'thing'. Either way, you didn't word/explain it that well.
saksxalmo 20
It IS kind of sexist. What is the male equivalent to "you must be on your period"? Your justification for it could be used for any kind of biased remark, like saying that an FML about bad Asian drivers or black people being thugs isn't racist because we don't know whether the people in the FML actually ARE bad drivers or thugs... And the whole comment about periods is just a way of calling women irrational for being women... But anyway, I was just answering his question. Even though I don't actually think comments like that are a big deal, he was asking why people were siding with the girlfriend. What's wrong with answering...?
saksxalmo 20
#137, some Asians are bad drivers because of the difference in driving laws between the US and Asian countries. Just because you can explain where the stereotype/prejudice came from doesn't mean it's less biased. How are they not comparable?
kitten1323 19
I'm a girl. If I'm not siding with the girlfriend do you really think I find his comment sexist? No. Because I know how to take a joke
Futacy 30
She's either PMSing or just a bitch.
kittenmeownyan 18
Good on her, ydi for being an ass
TalkCrazy47 7
How did he deserve it? If she was PMSing and knows that she has a tendency for extreme anger, she should be trying to make sure she controls herself. I don't care what comment he made to her, purposely harming your boyfriend just because you are weak in your ability to control your emotions is never an excuse
Futacy 30
It would be different if OP called his gf fat or stupid or ugly. All OP did was say that she was PMSing, which she was. This kinda goes back to what #229 and Kevin Hart said, "Never make a descision when you're angry."
sweetmama88 6
Great way to talk your girlfriend , who's going on her period., your very lucky that she didn't do anything serious .
doodlecloud 27
Because PMS gives women a free pass to do something WORSE than what OP's girlfriend already did? I don't think so. PMS can be excruciatingly horrible for some but that doesn't mean you can go around being abusive.
sweetmama88 6
Then sorry to say that you never gas Pms ! Please get a life, you must be a man to make that kind of comment!
doodlecloud 27
I'm a girl, I'm just a girl who can take responsibility for her actions rather than one who jumps on the "I'm SUPPOSED to be a bitch - PMS you know? :P" bandwagon thus using it as an excuse for bad behaviour and effectively mocking those that do get really bad PMS.
SoylentCandycorn 10
How to tell when someone on the internet has lost an argument: Whenever they say "get a life".
Levvy 22
Not that only women should be allowed to speak up about this being physical abuse, but... wow. Roundly owned. Good show, Doodlecloud.