Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
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Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
At least she didn't shoot a blue shell of doom at you.
iOceanus 18
Especially when playing Mario Kart. Mario Kart is a serious matter!!
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Comments (268)
alishous 8
I find it ridiculous that a female can treat a comment about PMS like this. It's not like its some made up thing to be used as insult, it's a very real thing that girls constantly use as an excuse after acting like a stupid bitch. So basically it's a horrible insult and WRONG, or completely acceptable depending in whether or not it aids them in given situation.
chveya 6
I don't know how you had a girlfriend in the first place if you thought you could use menstrual pain as a reason to delegitimize her.
HOB0HUNTER 2
#121-Where are you coming up with her getting "delegitimized"? If a comment about a girl having PMS is anything other than a joke, it's probably acknowledging that her behaviour is unintentionally unacceptable and not her true nature. Still not an excuse to lose your self control!
KingCeltic77 18
Be thankful that that's all she did.
jessi_sunshine 26
You deserved it completely. My brother made a similar comment to me over Thanksgiving dinner. I left the table. Moral of the story? It's none of your damned business, and it's an incredibly personal thing for you to be passing a satirical comment on. A real man wouldn't look down on a girl, hormonal or not, over a bodily function that she can't even help.
CharresBarkrey 16
Honestly, if you can't control your emotions and outbursts, even when PMS-ing, you deserve a comment like that. It's not "looking down" on someone. PMS isn't some incredible rage that women can't control. Also, leaving the table over a comment is really childish. Your punishment to your brother was, what? YOU didn't eat, and he didnt have to deal with your moodiness? Yeah, that sure showed him.
sduval33 5
For some women it is.
Jirekianu2 19
And some women need to see a doctor about using medication. If the hormonal swings are that severe then they need to be given something. If their anger management is that weak they need to see a therapist. Or both. Pms or a bad day or whatever reason is not an excuse to physically assault someone. Men aren't punching bags.
Levvy 22
So, you'd be completely okay with it if someone smeared your genitals in chemicals for overstepping some arbitrary personal boundary they'd set? Yes or no. Assuming you respond at all, I eagerly await seeing you try to wriggle out of giving one of those two answers.
lumosella11 5
That's horrible that she did that, it doesn't matter that she was PMSing, you don't do that to anyone, especially your boyfriend. You might be better off dude. (Yes, I am female)
schalk 12
There's been a similar fml. Get a shitload of chocolate, heat pads & other stuff too. Can anyone remember which fml it was? Could be worse dude, at least it wasn't Klingon Monopoly.
love_me_electric 20
I believe you're thinking of the one where the girl's sitting on the couch eating an entire cheesecake and watching the notebook. The guy asked if she was on her period and she threw something at his face. Or maybe not, there's probably been dozens of PMS related FMLs on here.
love_me_electric 20
If you ask a woman who's not on her period if she's PMSing you'll be in trouble. If you as a woman who is on her period if she's PMSing you'll be in BIG trouble. So in short, just don't do it.
winkydog4056 16
PMS = Putting up with Men's Shit.
dwc2134 5
Regardless of the fact you shouldn't, out of interest of self preservation, make observations over whether a girl is or is not pms-ing, that is ****** up and you are much better off changing your locks (assuming its your apartment), getting her shit out, and finding someone who is not a complete bitch.
Alastrina_fml 20
Did you seriously expect that a ******** comment like that was just going to get forgotten? I'm surprised she didn't get up and beat the snot out of you. Girls can get angry and competitive just like guys do and simply passing it off as PMS is belittling and invalidating. It insinuates that women are irrational and don't have real feelings. YDI, jerk.
ClashParody 21
Well, women ARE irrational. However, I agree; OP - YDI.
CharresBarkrey 16
So far, you're the only one who's given any sort of reason or back-up to their "never say a woman is PMS-ing" argument, so kudos to you. And you have a good point.
SoylentCandycorn 10
If you think beating the snot out of someone or physically abusing their genitals is a justifiable or appropriate response to a "pms" remark... Then honey you have severe anger issues, and it's nothing to do with PMS.
Alastrina_fml 20
I'm a girl and I have never once jumped on the PMS bandwagon to somehow justify my anger toward something. Then again I rarely get angry, so maybe I'm weird that way. I'd like to think that the average guy has more sense than to make a PMS related comment toward a girl. If they don't, they ought to have some sense smacked into them. Just sayin'.
SoylentCandycorn 10
There are much better ways to deal with things that offend you then to act like a psychotic abuser. If making a PMS joke represents 10 douchebag points, then waiting until your partner goes to sleep to apply icy hot to their genitals is about 200 douchebag points. No matter how offended she was, she overreacted, big time. Just sayin'. Do you always go "smacking sense into people" when they offend you?
Levvy 22
Girl acts immature: She had every right to. Guy acts immature back: HOW DARE HE?! Girl physically batters him: She had every right to. Guy complains about it on FML: HOW DARE HE?! Your double-standards are approaching quadruple standards.