Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
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Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
At least she didn't shoot a blue shell of doom at you.
iOceanus 18
Especially when playing Mario Kart. Mario Kart is a serious matter!!
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Comments (268)
Complaining 13
That was insensitive of you, but she still needs to calm the **** down and not get upset over little things.
Ray_of_midnight 23
That was a ******** comment, to be sure, but her response was way out of proportion.
Missy2612 11
Sorry guy, but you deserved it for fueling the fire. Best of luck to you and your Icy Hot balls
cnator 12
I don't know why girls get so offended when people ask if they're on their period. It's completely natural. That's like getting mad when someone asks you if you just pissed.
shark_girl 9
No, you shouldn't have said that, but seriously? My PMS has never been that bad...sounds like she was planning to dump you all along though, cause in my experience, girls get over this pretty fast.
cloth101 5
I'm a girl. If my bf mentioned that to me no way would I act like this. If its honestly that bad that she can't control it she should she a doctor. Otherwise she should grow up.
Metthew 15
Gosh, am I glad to see another girl think like me!
Quest_ 13
Your girlfriend's response is the collective, pent-up anger from women everywhere who have to put up with dismissive "are you PMSing?" comments whenever they display emotions or opinions you don't like.
landcfan 6
Asking a woman if she's PMSing is like saying, "Whatever, there's no way what you're feeling is a legitimate reaction. After all, since you have a ******, if you get upset, that must be causing it. Women are so irrational." My brother asked me that once (I was not) and I have not forgotten after years have passed. I found it THAT insulting. With that said, your girlfriend had no right to put burning chemicals on your genitals.
SoylentCandycorn 10
I would say rage quitting when you lose a multiplayer video game isn't a legitimate response. Stick to single player games if you are going to be such a complete baby about losing.
landcfan 6
When we were kids, my brother hit our Playstation so hard that he broke it because Crash Bandicoot didn't acknowledge that he hit a checkpoint or something. There are WAY worse reactions, and hers wasn't necessarily because of hormones.
Levvy 22
One person behaving worse doesn't justify another person behaving badly.
Alastrina_fml 20
That was what I was saying, but this is WAY better worded.
PinkSloth 0
Yes, we women get pms but really, pulling something like that is pushing it, kind of a bitchy thing to do... Just a little. It's called self control, it doesn't hurt to have
spottyblanket 8
I expect you finally pushed her over the edge op, maybe don't be so thoughtless and sexist in the future? Just a thought?