Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I drove three hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in three weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off, and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
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Top comments
watermelon15 35
This could go either way... I wonder if you did do something..
snoopy325 23
Girls have an uncanny way of figuring things out... And being psychotic. Good luck figuring out which it is!
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Comments (132)
watermelon15 35
This could go either way... I wonder if you did do something..
zarosian 17
You're right this needs a follow up
sophienzstein 12
That's something pretty intense for a girl to do, unless she's a drama queen
garrett_8614 14
Please please please follow up OP
orbit 22
It was for being a "son of a bitch". Don't you listen op?
RedPillSucks 33
Obviously it was because he didn't pick the right engagement ring
dcb132z 17
Need a follow up
Senorangelo 10
Oh it was because she saw you with that lady in her dream last night..
BlockOfRedStone 25
I bet it was because he liked a girl's Facebook status - his Aunt's Facebook status.
devildog562 33
Kinky start to makeup sex hopefully.
TheSwegMaster69 11
Given that she exited his apartment, it seems like he might have to wait a while for that.
devildog562 33
Where do you think chasing tail came from? For some reason irrational things in relationships can work. Or don't, like my comment ...
snoopy325 23
Girls have an uncanny way of figuring things out... And being psychotic. Good luck figuring out which it is!
oreoeater 21
No, they think they can work things out but no, What they have is called paranoia, and blind luck
sayyestothedress 24
Plot twist: OP actually knows what he did (I'm guessing it's a bad thing) but acts like he doesn't know it! This needs a follow-up!
Erebus_Terror 12
Why not both?
SoundAlchemist 21
Just talk to her nicely. Apologise(even if you haven't done anything :p).It will get sorted out.Good luck OP :)
cakefete2 31
I disagree. I wouldn't apologize. I'd leave her. I don't believe people should be putting their hands on each other. If you think I'm overreacting, imagine if OP was the one that slapped the girlfriend. Then would you still think I was wrong?
AdmiralGrammar 4
Exactly. Don't ******* tell victims of domestic abuse to apologise for being physically assaulted for no reason! Good lord.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
He should apologize even if he didn't do anything???? NO WAY
SoundAlchemist 21
I'm really feeling your comments and concern about domestic abuse and stuff.But I think there are some ups and downs in a good relationship, you know what I'm saying? OP's girlfriend must have misunderstood OP for something else and she just reacted impulsively. (I guess there's nothing wrong in there because she had feelings for him :) ).And just think for a second, if OP had reached this situation in a furious manner;things could have gone out of control and could have turned ugly(Lowering one's ego for saving a relationship in which you had invested time and stuff is a good sacrifice I think IFF you love each other and other romantic stuff :) ).If they are in some serious relationship and commitment I guess they will get along and apologise each other and probably slap each other again :p
IMcPwn 12
This sounds like an abusive relationship where OP's girlfriend is the abuser. If there are many other occasions of this OP should break it off.
nmrhog 15
If the genders were reversed, would you be saying apologize and get along?
tigerisabelle 31
I see where you're coming from, but no. It was not right of OP's girlfriend to hit him, even if he did do something horrible. OP, I think you should find out why on earth she would act this way, and if it is something stupid, leave her, or if it is something bad you did and that reaction, while not fully justified, is understandable, then you need to have a talk with her about not putting her hands on you.
borias 6
If OP was female, there is NO WAY you would you would be saying fight for the relationship. Not even if he just pushed her, not even if they're married, with kids! It's 2014, everyone needs to woman up and take responsibility for their actions. You put your hands on someone, you bear the responsibility.
zBLAKEz 23
Wow, this is the first comment thread I've seen on FML that actually takes into account the fact that men can be victims. It's nice to see comments like these instead of the usual "if a girl hits a man then he must have done something wrong and he should apologize." And then there's the lovely fact that if you see an FML about a guy doing anything wrong, no matter how minor it may be, it's an automatic guarantee that the majority of the comments will be saying he deserves to either be punched in the face, kicked in the balls, or both. I've always loved how warm and friendly the FML community is to men. :^)
borias 6
#118 I know right. Talk about "victim blaming". Women do it just as often. Women do it to men, they do it to other women.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
You don't apologize when you did nothing wrong. And since she slapped him, he definitely has nothing to apologize for.
Gaernem 17
Slap her ass in return and maybe things we'll take a different route.
Gaernem 17
Sorry for the bad influence OP. I forgot people on fml aren't into ways to start kinky make up sex.
oreoeater 21
This site is civilised, you dirty pig
RedPillSucks 33
The kinky makeup sex may be between OP and his prison mates if she decides to file a police complaint. And before you say "she hit him first", it will be his word against hers. Whose word do you think the cops will take? Real life experience is a bitch
Brandi_Faith 34
He's going to go to prison for slapping her ass? Her face maybe but not her ass.
MrDonSalvetti 27
I swear to god, if somone comes up with that overused line "Well that escalated quickly", I'm going to vote him down to hell!
MidnaLink 35
It didn't just escalate quickly, it shot all the way through the stratosphere!
CloudBustah 20
It escalated so quickly, that it shot through space at 3x10^8 meters per second!!
kinky44 28
@34 You've overestimated the FML community's math skills.
MidnaLink 35
The answer is 300,000,000
xKai_Axelx 12
funny how you're the only person to mention it, huh?
Misswildsides 22
And got down voted to hell.
ToxicTyrael 26
It's aproximately the speed of light ^^
Nymeria_fml 25
She's obviously mad at your mother, and taking it out on you, what with calling her a bitch and all...
KJxFTW 6
try to talk to her?
RedPillSucks 33
She "stormed off"
rabbit_yogurt 11
OP, why don't you ask her?
MidnaLink 35
The phrase "You know what you did" comes to mind.
Hiktmae 20
She's a keeper.
oreoeater 21
Like to point out, this is sarcasm... Hopefully
0ss 12
Thanks! If not for you, no one would've ever guessed.