Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
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Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
At least she didn't shoot a blue shell of doom at you.
iOceanus 18
Especially when playing Mario Kart. Mario Kart is a serious matter!!
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Comments (268)
bunny409 14
you dumbass,ydi. Never assume a girl is pmsing if they're angry. Girls can also get as competitive as guys when it comes to games.
Levvy 22
So you're saying that guys should also be physically hurting girls when they're upset because their competitive spirit was hurt?
dodzin 9
Kick her out now! If not, you will regret your weakness later on
PipingMouse 14
You absolutely, 100%, deserve that "big ole" **** you note. YDI.
vintage3113 6
Honestly...this is kind of a tough one. But I still would have to say YDI, you can't just pop off at the mouth with that shit lol
Jirekianu2 19
Doesn't anyone else see anything wrong with her physically abusing/harming him because he offended her? Her being upset is understandable going this ******* far is inexcusable.
Levvy 22
I notice most FML comment sections conclude that the situation is always, ALWAYS the fault of whichever party has the Y chromosome. Look back at the thread about the guy whose girlfriend decided to start literally treating him like an infant. People were literally pulling conjectured reasons out of thin air to justify her behavior. There are exceptions, of course, as you can see on this very comments page, but it's a weird, unsettling trend on this site.
kearsleyz 10
At least you got your balls fondled!
nashimus 3
Why is it such a big deal to broach that topic? My wife willingly admits that's she's crazy sometimes, because of that shit. Stop living in denial.
titibug823 11
Yes, but that is her saying it. It's one thing when she says it, it's another thing when a guy says it.
titibug823 11
Yes, but that is her saying it. Any girl will tell you she doesn't want a guy asking her if she is PMSing whether she is or is not PMSing
CharresBarkrey 16
Yeah, because every female is exactly like your wife.
therobotchef 6
break up with her, it isn't worth dating a girl willing to do that because you made a remark about her pmsing next time she nigh castrate you.
briighteyez 9
That got a little testy now didn't it.
DamnKneeGrows 1
break up with that bitch, after you get her back with some icy hot on her woman parts